JUST RAWR, AND DIE

2012-02-15T02:16:00.002+08:00

I'm not a fan of Yuna, but this is exactly how i feel towards you. You know I'd give you anything and everything sayang.

"Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu pastikan kau bahagia"

zaman muda remaja

2012-02-09T01:48:00.007+08:00

So, i was bored. I went through my old blog, blog di zaman kegelapan dlu. Gelap, tapi fun. Lately, I've been missing my old self. Takde rindu apa pn actually, stakat rindu berpakaian sedikit sexy. Rindu shorts, sleeveless, dress. Hahaha. Rasanya dah more than 1 year gak la aku tak pakai semua tu, eh serious la, baru aku sedar. Fuhhh kagum jap dgn diri sndiri.

Sori la ada gambar yg poyo, and bersama lelaki di zaman lepas. What past is past, ye dak? Bagus la stakat ni mcmni, mungkin di masa depan nanti, bertudung pula? Eh tapi di masa lepas dlu pun bertudung jugak. Muahahah. Mungkin di masa depan nanti, bertudung yg kekal pula? Baru betul ayat. InsyaAllah.

On an unrelated note, I lost my Blackberry. Bukan dicuri, tetapi tertinggal di toilet. Kelalaian diri sendiri :p

sentiasa rindu.

2012-01-16T02:15:00.004+08:00

Lately, slalu teringat Shida. Actually, bukan lately je, mmg sentiasa pn. But lately lagi slalu maybe sbb slalu lepak2 dgn kawan2 maktab, or maybe sebab skrg ni dah besar and asik pikir pasal life so skaligus pikir pasal Shida.

Her birthday is coming soon, 26th January. Takkan penah lupa not. I celebrated her last birthday, by belanja-ing her Mcd. Jadi la kn, time tu tak keje lagi. She was 23 that time. And then few days after that, about 15 days after that she left me, left us.

Lately, dah 2 kali to be exact, bila ingat Shida mesti nangis. Bukan stakat nangis mengalir airmata, ni siap menangis teresak2, exactly mcm time kt kubur dia dulu. She was a big part of me, a very very big part. We've been best friends since standard 1 kot, time baru nak ada kawan. We're like sisters, she even stayed at my house when we were in form 2 and form 3. Dia sorang je yg penah nampak mak aku pukul aku pakai hanger. Dia je yg aku tak segan nak tunjuk betapa pemalasnya aku, or betapa bersepahnya bilik aku. She wore all my clothes mcm dia sendiri punya, she knew all my family members, we always share our money and everything.

So bila sekarang ni I have everything, I have my own car (wlupun abah bayar), I have my own money, I have a job, I can go out till 12am, I can buy anything I want, rasa weird bila I can't share all that with her, padahal my whole life Ive shared everything with her, seriously everything. Paham tak rasa weird tu?

Aku paham ni semua dah takdir, kita tak bole lawan takdir. Allah yg plan semua benda, Allah yg cipta kita semua and Allah jugak yg matikan kita semua. I know all that. But I miss my friend, my best friend. I miss to see her smile, she always smile. I miss talking to her, I miss lepak with her because she was fun, everyone likes her. Susah nak carik sorang manusia pn di dunia ni yg tak suka dia. What's not to like about her, kan?

So, for everyone of you yg tengah baca my blog right now, please sedekahkan Al-Fatihah for her, bole? For those yg kenal dia, why don't you guys share something or anything bout her kt ruang komen tu? So at least kita semua bole ingat dia sama2, just share 1 memory la korang dgn dia. Saja suka2, if korang baca la. Thanks korang.

We were 10 I think in this picture. Kat sekolah agama; me, suhailah and shida. Ps: tak sangka Shida lagi tinggi dari aku time ni. Hahaha.

2012-01-16T02:05:00.001+08:00

BODO LA TULIS BLOG PAKAI MACBOOK SEBAB BANYAK AUTO CORRECT. STRESS AKU.

the last road trip of 2011

2012-01-15T00:52:00.007+08:00

Dah lama tak upload gambar byk2 then write about it. I should la kan? Yela, apa lagi motif blog ni klu bukan tulis bout things happened in my life, pape activity or event. Takkan la nk tulis bout perasaan je right? Lagipun who knows, in 10 years lagi maybe kita semua dah lupa bout this so at least if ada gambar and cerita, bole la ingat serba sedikit right?

So, the night before new year's eve, we went to Melaka. Original plan was to eat seafood at Bagan Lalang ke mana2 ke dalam selangor, sempena Fiza datang from Penang gak. Then tiba2 tukar jadi Melaka. And original plan gak naik 2 cars camtu tp disebabkan I had exora at that time so semua nak berhimpit naik extra, all 8 of us. We gathered at Munh's house, so rumah Munh jadi cam tempt parking kereta. Hahaha. Then si Munh and Najwa and Pdax jugak siap bawak banal bagai masuk dalam kereta, mcm nak pegi holiday. Oh oh, and bag pdax lagi la cm nak pegi holiday, bag kemain bear lagi (semua org bwk bag sub original plan nak tido rmh mak for girls, and rmh zape for guys, tp nanti cerita spa jadi :p)

Then dah semua org masuk kereta (husmi drive, pdax dok depan, mak fiza zape dok tgh, munh najwa aku dok blkg) and dah jalan sket, pastu nak patah balik pulak sbb nak amik tag keje mak (sbb mak keje ngn polis so maybe if kne tahan polis bole la lepas pas tunjuk tag) and amik smart tag gak. Then bole pulak singgah kedai cakoi sbb nak tapau cakoi and pisang goreng. Serious cm nak jalan jauh. Hahaha.

Pastu, si ainod pulak nak ikut. Ainod kt Nilai, so pegi amik dia and dia taknak bawak kereta so berhimpit la 4 org kt tengah tu. Agak terseksa actually, but it was fun. It was something that we will always remember, sampai tua la kot. Perjalanan sumpah terasa agak jauh sub stop beli cakoi la, stop amik ainod sambil beli aiskrim mcd, stop solat smbil beli air and buah and tisu, then baru la sampai destinasi yg dituju dgn bantuan gps mak. So akhirnya semua yg kelaparan tu dapat gak la makan. Makan mmg best, but the trip itself lagi best kot.

Then pas makan, dah alang2 sampai Melaka, ofkos la jalan2 round Melaka jap. Tangkap2 gambar, pegi Jonker Walk wlupun Jonker Walk dah tutup. Bila balik pulak, mak fiza munh and najwa dok tgh, so aku ainod and zape dok blkg. Kali ni mmg paling sempit la sbb si ainod amik space byk ntuk tido pastu si zape lak badan muscle2 smpai rasa penuh bila sandar. Hahaha. Pas antar ainod bru rasa selesa sket then dah smpai KL lepak mcd lak sbb si pdax gergasi nak makan lagi. Then after that, bermula la perbincangan and decision paling merepek kitorang penah buat.

Mula2 kitorg plan nak main benda baseball kt OU tu the nextday. Tp plan nak pegi awal sbb ari tu kn new year's eve so konfem ramai org. Disebabkan time tu dah around 4 kot so si munh (aku rasa la) bagi idea yg mula2 pegi rumah mak sambil boys tido dlm kete and girls mandi siap2 sume, then pegi rmh zape sambil boys mandi and girls tido dalam kete. Serious bongok. Serious rasa cam zaman MRSM, time kitorg slalu merempat and tido kt bus station or prangin mall sambil tunggu siang. Hahaha.

So tu jela cerita menarik. Other than that, kitorg gerak pegi OU around 8, bfast kt TTDI, kul 10 mask OU, pas main baseball lepak starbucks smbil tnggu zati, then lunch kt delicious, then balik dgn mengantuknya. Sampai rumah aku tido dari petang sampai esoknya.

Sekian.

i'm glad we are here now

2012-01-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

"When two friends become lovers, that's ordinary. When two ex-lovers become friends, that's maturity"

Terbaca quote ni today. So if that's the case, so kiranya aku ni matang la kn? Tapi actually bukan aku la, sbb aku yg salah dalam my past relationship. So kiranya my exbf is matang la right? I'm glad I have him as my exbf. Hahaha bole camtu?

But, I was 20/21 when I had my heart broken for the 1st time. I met him when I was 18, then he had another girl (or maybe 2) so i left him. Time tu mmg heartbroken gila babi la sampai menyumbang kepada aku fail degree math aku dulu. Hahaha. But a year after that, or maybe tak sampai a year kot, bila aku dah bole accept semua, bila aku dah sedar he's not meant for me or he's not that special, aku dah bole terima and aku kawan balik dgn dia. And right now, lagi la aku sedar yg dia tak special mana pun and sebaik aku tak dgn dia. Hahaha.

Tapi kn, walaupun aku rasa aku matang and exbf aku pn matang, but I think yg paling matang dlm situation ni is my bf. Aku rasa dia byk bersabar bila aku stp minggu lepak dgn exbf aku (because he's one of my besfrens and we are in the same circle of friends). Dia bersabar bila aku pegi lunch dgn dia, bila aku borak telefon or msg dia, bila aku pegi tgk wyg or lepak2 dgn dia, and even bila aku pegi bercuti dgn dia (semua ni bkn la ber2 je ek, beramai la mksudnya). He's really really cool about all that and he really can accept it. Or, maybe he can't but he has to pretend that he can because he doesn't want to show that he's jealous or that he is a possessive bf. Maybe la kn, sbb ego dia agak tinggi sbnrnye. Hahaha.

So di atas kesempatan ini, I want to thank my bf for being the cool bf as he is now. To love me no matter what, to be as annoying and kasar as he can be but still knows how to make me fall in love with him every single time, to be patient with me and with all of my weirdness and quirkiness, and also randomness. Haha. I love you sayang, i really do. I smile every time I think of you, and I even have this weird feeling in my heart ke in my perut ke ntah, whenever I think of you. Maybe cm jiwang menggelikan, but its true. I hope there's a happy ending for us at the end of this road.

I love you baby. Thank you for everything.

pms

2012-01-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

Penah tak korang terpikir benda2 yg lebih kurang cmni; "Cukup ke bf aku ada aku yg mcmni?" or "Ada ke ciri2 prmpuan yg bf aku suka ada kt aku?". Ada tak? Ada tak?

Aku ada. Kadang2 tu slalu gak esp time2 mcmni (time2 bila emosi and hormon xberapa nak betul, jerawat pn dah muncul). Aku rasa ada je aku penah tulis benda2 ke arah ni jgk tp disebabkn rasa ni dtg lagi, so aku tulis la lagi. And aku jgk rasa penah je aku tulis benda2 yg bertentangan dgn ni; yg berunsur positif dimana aku penuh confident and yakin je, tp disebabkn rasa tu xdatang kali ni so xbole la nk tulis benda2 berunsur positif. Haha.

Kenapa lelaki (some la kot) yg suka pandang prmpuan sexy, pakai hot pants or baju nampak tetek but gf sndiri xbagi lak pakai? And gf sndiri dibiarkan je pakai tshirt and jeans and berpakaian spt tomboy. Aku ada soklan or point aku nk ckp kt sini, tp aku xtau nk smpaikn mcmmane. Maybe persoalannya adalah, jika lelaki itu suka melihat wanita cantik and sexy, adakah dia tak suka melihat gfnya yg selekeh and tak sexy? Adakah gfnya tak menarik dari pandangan matanya? Tu kot soklan aku.

Aku tak kata ni aku ek, ni situasi yg aku cuba nk smpaikan je :p

Haih tiba2 self esteem aku berada di tahap yg paling rendah. Tiba2 aku tak rasa confident dgn diri sndiri and penampilan sndiri. Kenapa perasaan bodoh ni slalu dtg, sebulan skali? Kenapa? Why? Porque?

Maybe kata2 pujian, and ayat2 romantik xsalah diucapkan skali skala. Maybe la.

Happy new year people!

2012-01-03T01:17:00.003+08:00

So, its 2012 already. Pejam celik beribu kali tgk2 day abis dah 2011. And I had the greatest way to end 2011, spent 2 days and 1 night with my lovely friends. Seriously web, 2 days 1 night tanpa tidur, tidur kejap2 dalam kereta, merempat tanpa hala tuju sket2, cm zaman maktab dulu. Hahaha. But I had a lot of fun, sgt2, wlupun lepastu aku pengsan tido dari petang.

*ok sumpah menyampah tulis blog pakai macbook ni sebab asik autocorrect. Aku type pengsan, dia pegi tukar penguin. Bodoh.

Apa yg menarik 2011?

Still bekerja di Astro. Bersyukur sebab dah dapat permanent, so agak terjamin la serba sedikit. Bosan sket buat keje, but semua benda ada pros and cons right? Yg penting bersyukur and berusaha la sket2 kot. Org lain lg susah nak carik keje, ni dah senang ni, hargai la apa yg ada.

In 2011, I lost 3 important people; MakNgah, PakUda and PakNjang. Makngah sebab sakit, Pakuda meninggal dalam tido, Paknjang lak sebab accident. Tiga2 pun menyedihkan, but paling menyedihkan Makngah and Paknjang kot sebab sgt rapat, and Paknjang lak meninggal tiba2 je. Seriously terkejut time mak call tu. Tapi dah ajal kn? I miss them.

2011 jugak menyaksikan byk kwn2 maktab kawin, spt Ejoi/Betty, Alia, Ein/Syafeeq, Akmal, Sya, Jiman, Shaz Itri/Jebon (tibe2 selit jgk nama dorg), Fieky, Misya dll. Cam ada lagi byk tp aku tak dapat nk ingat. Kwn skolah Andalas pn byk gak yg kawen. Congrats la semua. Oh cm ada few yg dah dapat anak gak, and pregnant. Gila la dorang, aku ni terkial2 lagi carik masa depan. Hahaha. But seronok la bila ada yg kawen, sbb skaligus trus buat mini reunion gak.

Relationships with friends pn getting better la dlm 2011 ni. Buat few trips ke sana ke mari, plan few trips jugak for this year. Lepak almost every week, lunch almost every week gak with certain people. Few friendships yg biasa2 je rapatnye dah jadi makin close. But ada jugak friendship yg close jd makin tak close but biasa la, you earn some you lose some. But this year, wlupun happy byk lepak dgn kwn2, aku makin slalu tringat Shida. Makin slalu nangis bila tringat did, makin rindu dia, makin pikir pasal dia.

Actually, 2012 ke 2011 ke, sama je. Bila dah masuk 2012 ni, it reminds us or it reminds me, that I'm 26 this year. TWO SIX wehhh. Dah lebih drpd suku abad, lagi 4 years je nak 30. Takdela stress pun umur dah tua, but stress serba sedikit bila umur dah 26 tp future tak nampak lg. Bukan stakat future in relationship (yg membawa kpd maksud kawin and anak) tp jugak future in life la, dlm mengecapi something ntuk diri sndiri. Ada paham spa aku cakap? I guess, for 2012, i need to work hard la in achieving what I want. Selalu pandang mudah semua bend so maybe kali ni, sempena 2012, sempena umur 26, maybe aku bole berusaha sket. Takyah usaha banyak la, klu byk konfem malas, so sket je sudah :p

Oh 1 lagi, sempena masuk 2012 ni gak, I'm grateful and thankful I still have you in my life. My love for you grows in 2011, so I hope it will grow even more in 2012, and so on. Wlupun byk benda terjadi, byk gaduh kdg2, byk benda2 bodoh, and byk gak mistakes yg org buat, but I'm still very much in love with you, and InsyaAllah, I will always be. Thanks for still being here with me, thanks for putting up with all my flaws, random and annoying things that I always say and do. I hope we'll be happy in 2012 (dah tahun2 selepas itu), I hope our relationship and love grows, I hope we will always have chemistry and spark. I love you baby, and I hope you love me too :)

So, goodbye 2011, hello 2012. Please be good to me.

enjoy!

2011-12-29T00:40:00.005+08:00

disebabkan susah nk pikir benda nk tulis kt blog ni lately, so aku upload la few recent pictures yg aku ada. enjoy!

rindu

2011-12-28T23:29:00.003+08:00

I miss this annoying face.

"tu je?"

2011-12-07T01:02:00.001+08:00

Apa yg menarik ttg Ombak Rindu:
1. Menceriakan hubungan aku dan bf. Membuatkn kami berkongsi gelak tawa dan gurauan sinis semasa menontonnya.
2. Memantapkan skill mengkritik filem aku dan bf. Kami dpt melihat kewujudan fade to black yg terlalu byk dlm masa yg singkat, yg semestinya amat annoying dan tak feel langsung. Kami juge dpt melihat camera yg out of focus dan lip sync yg lari.
3. Menajamkan kemahiran tatabahasa aku dan bf, apabila kami dpt menegur penggunaan bahasa melayu yg salah (Eh bahasa melayu ke bahasa malaysia ek?). Spt ayat Aaron Aziz kt mak dia yg berbunyik lebih kurang "apa yg ibu maksud?" dan "Abg ucapkan sayangi Izzah" (lebih kurang la, xkan aku hafal lak)
4. Membuatkan aku peka dgn org2 sekeliling, sbb sibuk mencari ada manusia yg menangis ke?
5. Dapat melihat exgf bf kelihatan cantik memakai tudung (wlupun stakat 2 scene hujung2).
6. Airmata Aaron Aziz sememangnye mampu menyentuh hati, wlupun takde la smpai aku nangis. But seriously, sayu je hati tgk laki nangis sbb sygkn someone.
7. Dapat melihat kewujudan lipas terbang buat pertama kalinya di dalam filem (tak termasuk cerita Joe's Apartment ataupun drama tajuk Lipas Terbang kt Astro Prima)
8. Dicurik dari twitter bf, "Ombak Rindu meyakinkan aku yang Julia Ziegler tak pandai berlakon".
9. Oh! Rumah2 dlm cerita ni serious cool. Semua rumah kayu. Mmg aku suka!
10. Lagu cerita ni nyanyian Hafiz and Adira tu, mmg menusuk kalbu la. Lirik ni ditukan kpd bf "Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia, Untuk terima ku seadanya. Kerna ku tak sanggup, Kerna ku tak mampu, Hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku".
11. Puji la sket, kombinasi pelakon yg agak mantap. Aaron Aziz; mmg hero malaya la. Maya Karin; bole la wlupn aku still rasa sometimes dia berlakon pelik. Maybe sbb accent die tu. Lisa Surihani; aku suka lg watak dia cmni drpd watak die jd heroin sbb suara dia kasar and actually dia tak loveable sgt. Lg sesuai jd watak spoil brat cmni. Bront Palarae; aku suka sbb hensem dgn rmbut panjang. Mmg aku suka dia. Azizah Mahzan; annoying as always. Julia Ziegler; bodoh. Comel; paling pandai melakonkan watak wlupun dia kucing.

Apa yg tak menarik ttg Ombak Rindu:
1. Everything else

Eh kira bagus la tu lg byk menarik drpd tak menarik. Tahniah Ombak Rindu. Akhir kata, tgk Breaking Dawn lagi bole buat nangis.

my birthday card, 041211

2011-12-05T18:29:00.005+08:00

sbg langkah berjaga2, manatau card ni ilang nnt. Hehehe. So aku tangkap gmbar and upload siap2 ucapan korang :p

a note to my future husband

2011-10-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

Dear you,
Once we're married nnt, my family is your family. And your family is my family too. Pls treat my parents as your parents, because I will absolutely treat yours as mine. I will respect them, take care of them, love them, do everything for them, so please do the same to my parents too. I have a vry big family, my brother and sisters, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and we are close. I know they can be quite annoying, vry religious and strict, and you might not like them, but pls respect them and be nice to them, because they are my family so they will be yours too. And my dear future husband, please take good care of me. Please don't hit me, except when I disobey you. Please love me and cherish me, hug me when I'm sad, listen to my stories and laugh with me. Please know that I'll always love you, and be there for you whenever you need me or don't need me.

So just please take good care of me, and my family too, that's all I ask.

Sincerely,
Your future wife

2011-10-30T02:52:00.003+08:00

"Just when i felt like giving up on us, you turned around and gave me one last touch. That made everything feel better, and even then my eyes got wetter. So confused wanna ask you if you love me, but i don't wanna seem so weak"

Graduation Day

2011-10-30T02:22:00.004+08:00

Di dalam kehangatan musim convo ni, teringat la convo sndiri jgk. Bukan sendiri nak teringat, tp mak yg ingatkan. Mak membebel sbb aku tak amik lg pic convo aku, padahal dah lama dah convo. Mula la mak ckp la aku tak amik kisah la apa la.

The truth is, aku mmg tak amik kisah actually. Takde apa pn yg aku rasa smangat sgt bout convo. Maybe sbb aku convo lmbat drpd kwn2 so kurang semanagat, tp if convo sama pn, aku still rasa biasa2 jgk kot. Yg penting aku dah abis degree, and now dah keje. Mana ada aku smangat carik baju beriya mcm org lain, nak gmbar beriya, nak cantik beriya ntuk gmbar semua. Aku stakat pakai baju cotton yg agak buruk kalernya (tp aku suka sgt), wedges yg dah lama beli tp bru pakai beberapa kali (because thats the only wedges/heels/kasut perempuan yg aku ada), and selendang hitam (sbb paling senang nak pakai). Mak bapak aku pun aku suh pakai simple je takyah beriya. Aku sampai suruh mak pakai seluar je, tp rupanya kena pakai baju kurung. Gmbar selepas convo dgn family kt kedai foto pn mak yg beriya suruh tangkap (kali ni aku stakat pakai tshirt je sbb ada jubah cover, and mak pulak aku suruh pakai baju biasa je)

Aku lebih rindu convo kt MRSM dulu. Graduation Day sbnrnye kitorg panggil. Wlupun without jubah (tak spt maktab lain), hanya memakai kain maroon/sampin maroon, pun dah cukup buat semua org seronok kot. Ingat lagi, time beratur pagi2 tu, lagu Graduation Day by Vitamin C tu dipasang. Smpai skrg klu dgr lagu tu msti tringat maktab.

Yg bestnye, time nak naik stage tu, semua org akan ada pic masing2. Kirenye MC tu panggil nama kita, kita naik pentas sambil ada pic kita terpampang kt atas stage tu. So bfore grad tu, semua org sibuk la tngkap gmbar masing2. Ada few pics yg kelakar la, posing cam poyo, so mmg best la tgk pic masing2 sbb bole gelak. And aku ingat lg pic aku apa; aku tgh betulkan tudung kt mesin ohp tu (ala benda yg cm projektor sikit2 tu). Susah gak nak pikir pic camne aku nak mula2, tp pastu cm terpikir baik tngkap gmbar dgn bnde yg kite slalu buat. Mmg sentiasa kot aku betulkan tudung kt mesin tu.

Oh time grad tu jgk, bf aku time tu siap jumpa parents aku. Siap ckp dia serious ngn aku la, and akan jaga aku la apa ntah lagi. And now, dia dah kawin. Hahahah. Poyo nak mampus pulak rasa. Baru form 5 kot. Beriya je. Haha.

Time grad jugak, form 4 akan bertugas time form 5 grad. Kire form 4 la yg jaga parking, uruskan parents, hidang makan, jadi usher, jadi MC, basuh pinggan mangkuk, kemas2, semua benda la dorang akan buat. So kirenye time kitorg form 4 pn, kitorg buat benda yg sama la ntuk form 5. Aku still ingat tugas aku kt DS (dataran selera, tmpat kitorg mkn). Aku kena kemas kt situ and basuh pinggan mangkuk. Oh time grad, masa form 4 la time gaduh ngn form 5 sbb conteng astaka and depan kelas I. Budak klas I la pandai sgt nak conteng tu semua (bdk klas i spt shida, munh, mak, shak, farha, haziq, hilmi, kapes, idzmil, yg lain aku xingat)

Takde benda pn aku tulis ni. Just teringat zaman tu je. Maybe rindu maktab kot, rindu semua org.

Ok, ni la pic time grad. Kalau tak dapat teka aku mana 1, korang mmg bongok. But maybe susah sbb nampak skema sgt kot. Muka cm suci and innocent je. Hahahah

pre-wed and convo

2011-10-29T20:01:00.013+08:00

Two major events; Ein & Syafeeq's pre weddimg photoshoot and WannaTheLegend's convocation. Dua2 pn penting, dua2 pn best sbb involved friends. Bila dah beramai2 dgn kwn2 msti la best kn?

1st, congrats to Ein and Syafeeq sbb nak kawin dah. Nikah on 11sth Nov, reception lak on 20th Nov. Jemput dtg ye kwn2. Hahaha. Dorang couple since form 5, umur 17tahun je lagi, and now nak kawin dah. Seronok kan? Couple maktab aku ntah mana ntah, sorang dah kawin sorang lg aku dah lama tak dgr khabar berita. But pape pn, aku glad aku tak kawin dgn dorang :p

So berbalik kpd photoshoot, wlupun aku munh n husmi smpai lmbat sket (munh je lmbat sket, yg lain lmbat byk). wlupun ada rasa malu berjalan di tgh kotaraya dgn baju skolah (tp pastu tak malu lak lepak pavi pki baju tu), wlupun panas2 jgk time tu, it was fun and it was great. Buat je pape ntuk pengantin kang, dorang nk kawin, kasi la dorang happy. Tak sabar gila rasa nak tunggu wedding nnt. Serious tak sabar, wlupun baju aku takde lagi :p

2nd, congrats to Wanna. Finally grad jugak! Hahaha. Legend tu ok. Susah nak dapat budak masscomm belajar smpai part 9, lain la klu part time. Ni serious julung kali ni. Pastu grad dgn 1 bintang lak tu. 9 sem, tp 1 bintang, kira ok la tu kn? Congrats Nang! And congrats gak for today. Hope ko betul2 happy, hope it is a good thing, hope semuanya ok. No matter what, aku sentiasa syg ko :)

update

2011-10-24T00:35:00.001+08:00

Jarang update dah lately. Bkn tak ada benda nk luahkn, byk je actually. But mostly too private and taknak diketahui umum or certain people. So kiranya la kn, blog ni bkn la diary kn? Bkn la tmpat yg kita bole tulis pape kita nak. Ok maybe bole, bile kite still umur belas2 tahun or awal 20an, bila otak tak matang lg sume benda nk tulis, dedahkn segalanya di internet. But now bila kita dh bole berpikir waras, umur pn dah kategori jubli perak, kita takkan tulis sume benda kot.

There was a time la, bila aku gaduh ngn bf or nk luahkn something kt bf, terang2an tulis kt sini segala luahan prasaan smpai sbnrnye memburukkan bf itu sndiri. Padahal I was with him, buatpe nak burukkan right? And there was a time when I told my every activities, stp perbuatan n gerak langkah di dlm blog ni. Smpai diketahui oleh pihak2 yg tak patut tau. And there was a time when people said bad things to me, in my own blog. Bodonye la zaman2 tu (wlupun zaman tu bru stakat 2-3 tahun lepas) but hey, in 1 year tu anything can happen ok. 1 year dah cukup ntuk changed kite from what we were to what we are now.

So rasanye update yg patut aku tulis skrg ialah, I'm fine, I'm doing ok. Still working in Astro, dah kurang passion in what I do now except when there is a shoot. But still, the work and the people are great, bersyukur dgn apa yg aku ada skrg ni ntuk someone yg tak berusaha cm aku. Still with the same guy as I was in few weeks ago, or few months ago or even a year ago (bunyik agak berlagak disini sbb dh couple more than a year, pencapaian yg susah nk dikecapi 2-3 years ago), still vry much in love with him despite of everything happened or didn't happen. Hopefully will still be with the same guy for the rest of my life, but we will nvr know, doa jela for now. Apa lg ek? Had a lot of things happened actually, tp cannot tell. Byk benda dlm kepala otak like always, but maybe lebih byk drpd biasa. Been thinking bout life n future smpai jd stress melampau. Ntahla, we will just wait and see.

Tapi kan, sbrnye, most of the time, aku dah mula bosan dgn semua yg aku ada.

Perlukan anjakan paradigma mungkin.

For you

2011-10-02T02:00:00.001+08:00

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Keep Holding On

2011-10-02T01:43:00.001+08:00

1 lagi video ok kwn2. So that bila aku dah tua nanti, aku bole ingat balik yg aku penah minat this cutest guy in the world bila aku baca blog ni.

is this love? or is this some kind of stupidity?

2011-10-02T01:14:00.003+08:00

penah tak rasa nak kahwin with someone tu semata2 sbb kita nak be with that person early in the morning, and late at night. be there at home when he comes back from somewhere. just so that we can make him happy all the time, suapkan food whenever we have foods in our hands, tutupkan mulut dia with our hands whenever he's yawning, if possible we just want to do everything for him, manjakan dia sbyk mungkin. teman dia to every toy shops in the world. just so that someday we'll have 'mini' him, who has his annoying and naughty expressions. because that is exactly how i feel right now.

smpai tgk Cameron Mitchell nyanyi pun boleh imagine dia, sgt takde kaitan.

my current obsession

2011-10-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

2011-09-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

Bapok bapok bapok bapok bapok! Jgn jadi budak bodoh. Grow up people, we're 25 already!

*bapok disini bkn lelaki lembut. Aku bole trime lelaki lembut, tp bkn lelaki yg lelaki tp berperangai bapok*

Lagi satu, please la wahai manusia, klu bercinta jgn jadi budak2. Again, we're already 25 years old. Grow up boleh tak?

Mood: stress tak tentu pasal. Ampun.

Eh dah alang2 stress tak tentu pasal, smbung sket la beberapa random yg aku slalu stress tibe2. Tau x bile konon ada prmpuan yg cool, bergaya, maybe cantik la jgk tp actually xdela cantik sgt, just because die bergaya je n maybe kwn2 sume bergaya, adik bradik sume femes, couple ngn org femes, cmtu la konon. Pastu in every pics org2 nk komen die cantik la apa la. Xkesah pn, sbb most of it mmg cantik, sbb mmg bergaya n baju die sume cantik. But tibe2 wujud pulak baju yg serious biasa je, n xde cantik mana, tibe2 ada 1 guy or girl jgk kdg2 komen, baju tu la die pnh tgk plg cantik seumur idup die, or plg cantik taun ni, x ke bodoh tu?

Or ataupun a girl/guy yg post pic sndiri kemain byk lg, yg self obsessed dgn diri sndiri. Pastu bole pulak caption pic tulis "jgn komen, saya buruk" or something like that, or plg femes "saya gemuk" padahal kau kurus nak mati n hot gile babi, seriously cm taik. Apehal la manusia cmtu.

Or org yg rimas dgn fb yg kononnya byk manusia fake, kwn fake, tp kau sndiri pegi carik kwn kt situ, kwn frm random ppl yg bkn kau kenal dari dunia sebenar. Diri sndiri pn bodoh kn?

Or people yg taruk masalah dlm selimut (btul ke benda aku ckp ni), maksudnya masalah2 percintaan la esp sbg status fb or status bbm or sbg update di twitter. Settle your own prob. Mengadu skali skala normal, tp klu bertubi2 cm heartbroken gila babi nak tarik perhatian, serious rimas. Settle kn tanpa khalayak ramai tau bole? Settlekan di luar drpd kwsn laman sosial.

Random gile rasa stress tiba2 ni. Ampun ya. Hahaha

be cool, be friendly and be reliable

2011-09-26T01:45:00.001+08:00

One thing I've learned la kan for these past few days, is BE COOL. Benda ni aku dah tau lama and aku dah praktikkan kt diri sndiri lama dah pun. But for other people, sahabat atau musuh, yg kenal aku or tak kenal aku, be cool people.

Be cool disini membawa maksud, jgn panik jgn gelabah bila berhadapan exbf/exgf psgn. Spt entry dibwh ini, konsep and topic penulisan ni masih berkisar dlm tajuk yg sama (ntah btul ntah tak penyusunan ayat aku). Jgn gelabah wahai manusia. Rilek je, buat2 je anda cool, buat2 je anda tak heran bertemu exbf/exgf psgn anda, buat2 je rasa diri anda plg hebat wlupun maybe anda tergugat dgn kehadiran mereka. Bkn la mksud cm anda kne buat exbf/exgf psgn tu cm kwn lama, cm sukati tepuk2 bahu gelak2 bersama, mksud aku disini adalah lebih kpd tegur je, salam je, buat je nmpak. Jgn buat tak nampak sbb bila anda buat xnampak, disitula anda kehilangan cool anda. Sbb if aku, aku buat bodo je. Kenalkn je aku kpd exgf psgn aku, aku xde hal nak salam. Taktiknye senang, be cool n be confident. Jgn rasa tergugat.

Oh, and 1 other thing, respect your partner's friends. Benda ni random yg aku nmpak kt sekeliling aku. Ambil tau, kenal mereka, tegur mereka bila nmpk tepi jln, salam mereka esp when u already know them. Sbb bg aku la kn, kwn tu penting. Aku penah skali dlm idup aku tinggalkn kwn sbb this 1 guy, and benda tu benda plg bodo aku penah buat. So aku xkan penah nk buat bnde tu lg. So respect kwn2 partner anda, bergaul dgn kwn2 partner anda sbb maybe bnde tu important ntuk mereka.

1 soklan penting yg ditanya kt aku tonight, "is he reliable? Can you rely on him?" Terkial2 gak aku jwb actually sbb honestly, aku xpk sgt bout bnde tu. Maybe bcause sbnrnye aku ni quite independant, I can do things on my own. Aku bole tak mintak tlg kt org, and bila aku mintak tlg tu aku rasa cm saja sbb bosan, or sbb menggedik je lebih, padahal aku bole je buat sndiri.

Contoh yg diberi bersama soklan td ialah, katekan la kete aku rosak tepi jln, can I rely on him to help me? Aku susah nk jwb. Wlupn soklan tu penting ntuk dipikirkan, but maybe aku xpikir lg ke arah tu. Katekan la kete aku rosak pn tepi jln, n I called him, tu lebih kpd aku menggedik nk mengadu n bermanja, n nk tau die syg aku x ntuk tlg aku. Bkn la aku call ntuk berharap die tlg aku, ntuk bergantung kt die, bcause aku xrasa aku bergantung kt people.

So maybe la kn, aku tak ready ntuk kawin lg actually sbb aku tak pikir pn ntuk bergantung kt org, berharap kt org, or aku xtgk lg the guy that I am with is reliable or not. And honestly I don't think I can rely on him just yet. Dia bole jd someone that I can rely on, but dia belum jadi. Maybe when he is that guy, and when I can start relying on him, that's when we're ready :) InsyaAllah, the time will come. Have faith ok.

Ps: rmi org ckp entry aku byk ke arah bf. But actually its not bout bf sgt pn. Its bout relationship la kot, bout friendship, bout love. Bout benda2 yg aku rasa, aku pikir. Bout persoalan n jwpn yg ada dlm kepala otak. Bout konflik dalaman, perbincangan dlm diri aku sndiri.

relationship counsellor

2011-09-24T00:20:00.003+08:00

Arini aku rasa aku jadi kaunselor perhubungan. 2 kali aku bg nasihat kt 2 org yg berbeza, dua2 colleague aku. And both of them said Ive helped them, serba sedikit la. Terer kn? :p

1st case, *aku pn tak ingat exact story, tp lebih kurang la ok* si N asked A "penah tak u duduk hotel sorang2?" A jawab la "tak penah" then N said "my bf penah" so A melawak la "oh dia stay ngn i la tu time tu" Then mula la si N terpikir bukan2.

Its not bout si A pn, but si N mula la terpikir apa jela bf dia buat kt hotel tu sorang2. But, it was 4 years ago, it was bfore she's with him. Tapi still dia pikir macam2. So I said to her, "tak payah pikir sgt. because it was bfore korang together. past tu past la. yg penting skrg. yg penting skrg dia takde secrets or anything. yg penting korang together now. yg dah lepas tu tak bole nak buat ape, sbb tu benda lepas"

2nd case, si J told me bout the day she went to her bf's friend's openhouse, with his EXGF. Together in same car. Hahaha. And at the openhouse tu pun, ada 3 close friends dorang. And dorang siap cerita bout the time her bf and his exgf were together. And siap still using the manja name they called eachother. And siap that girl nak basuhkan pinggan bf J after makan. Gile gak, ye dak?

So, ofkos la si J rasa awkward, rasa insecure, rasa weird, rasa less confident because dia dah jadi cm outsider. Eventhough aku ni sbnrnye lebih kurang mcm J punya bf, sbb aku rilek je bole je bwk bf aku lepak ngn exbf aku (aku penah je buat, kali ni je tak penah sbb bf xnak :p) but still aku rasa he shouldnt did that, and the exgf lagi la tak perlu la layan bf J mcm bf dia lagi.

But tolak tepi la semua tu, yg penting pasal J's insecurity, kekurangan rasa confident dll tu. So I told her, jgn la rasa tak confident tu. Cuba pikir mcmni, dorang broke up sbb prangai masing2, sbb dah kurang chemistry, bukannya sbb 3rd person ke apa ke. So dorang sama2 decide to end the relationship, so just yakin la yg dorang takkan be together balik, sbb if dulu pun dah tak elok, skrg pn mesti la sama. And dalam byk2 manusia, he chose J. J jugak yg dia nak. So mesti la ada something special bout J. Wlupun maybe byk keburukan, but keburukan tu pn kadang2 jadi something yg dia slalu ingat, slalu suka. So jgn la rasa tak confident.

Ofcourse la nakk selit relationship aku serba sedikit kan? Haha.

As for me, aku pikir bout his past a lot, but aku tak terasa or sakit ati sgt pun. Because what past is past. Aku lagi suka dia cerita everything bout his past, bout his exgf so that aku tau. Aku sndiri tau from him, bkn from someone else.

And aku jugak confident dgn diri aku sndiri (J kata aku perasan). But yes, aku yakin aku ada kelebihan tersendiri. Maybe aku lebih comel, lebih funny, lebih menarik, maybe la kn? And maybe gak aku ada keburukan yg lebih frm his exes, tp sume org pn ada keburukan right? Wlupun kadang2 rasa insecure, and rasa threaten (yela, sbb dorang couple lama, dia minat his exgf bfore couple, and dorg dlm circle of friends yg sama so ada je lepak slalu), tapi aku just pikir camni jela, their relationship didnt work out. There must be a reason la kn? And he chose me out of many girls in the world ni. And wlupun dia asik ckp aku annoying, aku byk ckp, aku gemok, aku bongok dll, but he's still with me. Smpai skrg aku tak tau nape dia dgn aku, but i guess there must be a reason la kn, at least 1. So takyah la rasa insecure dah. Just be confident.

Cherish the relationship you have. Dont let these small things like exgf or exbf, your partner's friends, your partner's past, ruin your relationship. Okay girls? :)

2011-09-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

Kadang2 kesian kt bf bila aku asik bercerita bout something yg xde kena mengena ngn dia, sibuk luahkan prasaan aku bout benda dia xpaham. Lebih kesian lagi bila dia xtau nak bg respon apa, or xtau nak comfort aku bila aku cite benda yg sedih. Aku sedar tu. Wlupun kadang2 (ok tipu, most of the times actually) aku msti terasa, but I know its just something that he doesn't do, he doesn't comfort people, dia betul2 clueless bout that.

But dear bf, all you have to do is just listen. And org tau awk sedaya upaya ntuk sentiasa dgr. Malang ntuk awk, awk dpt gf yg sntiasa bercerita.

I love you bf. I only have you, I only want you.

12/9 and 17/9

2011-09-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

2 big things happened this week.

Yg pertama, Paknjang meninggal. Paknjang was Mak's older brother, betul2 atas mak. Kira agak close ngn mak, and selalu jgk la dtg rmh ni. Arwah Paknjang meninggal sbb accident, so tu yg buat lagi sedih tu. Sbb tiba2 yg amat. Tiba2 mak call time aku kt ofis, then ckp Paknjang dah meninggal, Paknjang accident. konfirm2 la nangis, sbb mmg sedih because we're close. Time cium Paknjang, serious tak bole tahan nak nangis. Time peluk Maknjang smbil Maknjang ckp maafkan Paknjang if Paknjang ada buat salah silap, bertambah2 teruk la nangis jadi. And till today, Mak still nangis bila ckp pasal Paknjang because there're things yg kitorang bru dapat tau bout Paknjang and family, and Mak rasa menyesal tak tolong. Aku sndiri rasa menyesal.

Yg kedua, berbeza ngan kejadian di atas, my cousin got engaged. Cousin yg sama baya, yg dok sebelah rumah, yg rapat. Heart attack gak mula2 dapat tau dia nak bertunang, sbb ni menunjukkan kitorg dah smpai tahap umur ntuk bertunang. And lebih meng'heart attack'kan ialah kirenye aku next in line la. Serious terasa impaknya. Time2 potong daun pandan, time2 sibuk bg goody bags, org sibuk tanya "bila pulak turn?" "dengan org mana?" dll. Agak tensi jugak actually because I cant give any answer to the questions. So aku main jwb jela "em umur 30 nnt kot" (sbb lama lagi. muahahaha) and "org dekat je kot. s.alam kot" (sbb current bf dekat. lgpn cm malas gak nak carik org jauh klu bole)

So kesimpulannya, dua kejadian di atas yg terjadi minggu ni serba sedikit mengubah hidup aku la kot. Mengubah pemikiran aku bout life kot, serba sedikit la.

with budak maktab

2011-09-18T23:41:00.030+08:00

Aktiviti pertama; Karok with Munh, Mak, Mimi, Husmi, Pdax and Nyamok (bkn budak BP :p) bfore Pdax pegi Houston.

Aktiviti kedua; Raya di rumah Mak with Munh, Husmi and Najwa (bkn budak BP, yg sedang cuba dikenen2kn dgn husmi. hahaha) bfore Mak pegi Chicago.

Cis. Nak merantau je kwn2 aku ni. Oh btw, i miss Zape. Lama tak jumpa dia. Smoge dia jumpa gf mat saleh kt Paris. Hehe

KKS- kawan karib selamanya

2011-09-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

Tgk gmbar lama2 kt fb td, trus terbuat aku rindu kwn2 aku. Semua kawan aku rindu, kwn mrsm, kwn uitm, and segelintir kwn matrik (kwn matrik mostly kwn mrsm gak) hahaha.

Bila tgk gmbar2 tu semua, and baca komen2 dorang kt gmbar tu, buat aku sedar yg aku bertuah sgt sbb aku ada kwn2 plg best di dunia kot. Dlm byk gmbar, msti ada kwn mrsm aku komen, pastu kwn uitm pn komen gak. And the best part is, dorang komen sesama each other jgk, bkn stakat komen specifically kt aku je. Terer kn?

Aku suka benda2 kecik mcmtu. Benda2 kecik yg shows they can get along, or atleast shows they know eachother. If aku sebut nama sesapa la frm 1 group of fren ni to another group of fren, dorang msti kenal. Tak payah aku nk sebut "ada kwn aku tu kn", aku just sebut nama je.

Sbb tu gak aku slalu cerita cite2 psl kwn2 aku kt bf aku. Dia jarang jumpa kwn2 aku except for kwn2 uitm yg keje sama astro, so aku cerite jela bout sume org and show pictures gak. Sbb its important bg aku ntuk dia kenal dorang, atleast tau nama n muka.

Kesimpulannya, aku bersyukur ada kwn2 mcm dorang yg sgt sporting, cool, rilek, fun, gila, bongok, rebel, dll but at the same time jgk baik, rajin, sopan (sometimes), berpendidikan agama (hahaha tibe2) n mcm2 lg perkara baik.

Sekian.

Day 21 DONE

2011-09-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

Day 21- a photo of something that makes you happy

Saja jawab 3 soklan skaligus sbb nk jawab soklan ni. Haha.

So, currently, THIS makes me happy. Stp kali tgk tgn sndiri msti rasa nak senyum. My bf gave this. Saja la pegi swatch tgk jam ni, kirenye mmg aku nak beli tp cm malas nk kluar duit so pikir2 cm nextmonth ke apa ke. Tiba2 dia kata "jom kluar duit, org belikan jam ntuk awk" Sumpah happy melampau2 kot. Smpai melompat2 dlm kedai Swatch tu, seriously. Hahaha.

This watch makes me happy. This watch which was given by my bf makes me happy. Thanks baby, i love you!

Day 20 DONE

2011-09-11T23:32:00.001+08:00

Day 20- The meaning behind your blog name

Rawr because i love dinosaurs and Jurassic Park. Tu je yg penting.

Day 19 DONE

2011-09-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

Day 19- What makes you different from everyone else?

Haha klu jawab soalan ni beriya kang org kata syok sndiri pulak. Cuba jwb sesimple mungkin la ye.

Aku rasa, apa yg buat aku different is maybe sbb aku someone yg optimistic. I'm a sagi, and sagi mmg optimistic. Bole kata aku cm sntiasa gak la pikir positive, cm slalu pikir insyaAllah, if aku berusaha, if aku sntiasa yakin, berharap berusaha and berdoa, semua benda pasti boleh, semua benda pasti aku boleh capai. Sbb tu gak la kot aku kurang down bila result teruk ke, bila pape tak elok jadi ke, sbb deep down aku rasa aku boleh berjaya. Hopefully bkn stakat angan2 jela ni. Haha

And mungkin juga la kn, mungkin la, aku jenis tak berkira. Kalau ada duit lebih, aku bole je blanje kawan2 ke, mak bapak ke, adik2 ke, cousins ke, bf ke. Esp kwn2 and bf la kot. Aku sronok bila bf aku happy, skaligus buat aku happy gak :)

Slain drpd tu, according to other people, aku byk ckp, merepek, membebel dan yg seumpamanya. Tu pn buat aku lain kot, according to other people la.

Okaaayy, soalan ni boring. Konon nk jwb simple, tptak simple. BORING punya soklan!

erk

2011-09-09T02:16:00.002+08:00

Had a brief conversation bout Kahwin with Zai tadi. Zai agak terkejut when I said Im ready to get married, if ada org ajak (Org tu maksudnya bf la). Persoalannya sekarang, perlu ke terkejut? Muka aku muka tak ready kawin ke? Hahaha.

So then I said to Zai, maybe because our concept of marriage tu lain2 kot. Dia punya konsep oldschool, aku punya moden. Hahaha. Dia jenis kalau kawin nak kena bangun pagi siapkan breakfast sume bagai, berkhidmat ntuk suami, bersedia buat kerja rumah beriya semua la. Bkn la maksud konsep aku tak mcmtu, but maybe lebih simple. Seperti, if bangun lmbat, pg la breakfast lepak mamak. Bole je mak bapak aku hidup camtu for more than 25 years.

And after our brief conversation ni, aku terpikir la, if dia nak kawin ngan aku, InsyaAllah I'll try my best to be a good wife and friend, aku try sedaya upaya untuk tanggung bersama semua kesusahan dia, dengar semua cerita dia, share semua minat dia, layan dia sebaik mungkin, manjakan dia selagi mampu and insyaAllah, aku akan buat dia happy sepanjang hidup dia. Bukan stakat time kawin je, skrg pun aku dah cuba. Aku pun tak tau nape. Pelik.

Oh btw, ni terpikir tiba2 sbb baru pas ckp ngan zai td. DONT FREAK OUT BF! Org takkan suruh awk kawin dgn org, dont worry. Hahaha.

But seriously, I love you sayang.

pasangan spiderman rupanya

2011-09-09T01:59:00.001+08:00

Day 17 DONE

2011-09-05T01:02:00.003+08:00

Day 17- 5 things that irritate me about the opposite/same sex

Opposite Sex (guys la)

1. bila dorang jadi bapok. Bukan maksud aku bapok yg ada tetek, lembut semua. Maksud bapok di sini adalah bila dorang jadi kurang lelaki. Aku suka lelaki yg betul2 lelaki. Aku tak suka lelaki yg gedik ngn girls, yg sibuk jaga penampilan diri sndiri cm sibuk nk ikut trend apa skrg la sume bagai, lelaki yg konon2 cool atau izinkan saya guna perkataan urban disini (sbb slalu sgt dgr) di mana kesimpulannya adalah lelaki yg bajet ikut trend atau senang kata lelaki yg bapok.

2. aku tak suka lelaki yg konon guna word2 like LOL, OMG, BRB, ROFL and sebagainya. Come on la, korang lelaki kot. Kalau nk gelak, guna HAHAHAHAH. Kalau terkejut, guna SHIT, BABI, PUKIMAK, CIBAI or sebagainya. Jangan jadi bapok. Still lg dalam erti kata aku tak suka laki bapok. Hahah.

3. Guys yg suka kacau perempuan tepi jalan, esp if prmpuan tu tak setanding dorang. Come on la, dorang ingat kalau la prmpuan tu contohnya la cantik, or berpelajaran, or nampak kaya, prmpuan2 ni nak ke dingorat dgn cara bunyi2 tikus, and stakat main panggil2 nama je? Ingat ni zaman dulu kala ke?

4. Lelaki yg ada bf/wife tp mengaku dorang single. Serious bodoh.

5. Lelaki yg mcm exbf aku, yg satu tu. I dont think he reads my blog. So sape yg baca tu, jgn terasa ok, bukan anda la maknanya :p

Same Sex (girls la pulak)

1. Girls yg fake, gila babi fake. Senang cite, if kau tak suka someone ni, jgn tegur dia. Jgn cium2 pipi, jgn tanya khabar, jgn buat2 ramah, just jgn. Tak mati if kau tak baik ngan semua org, tak mati if kau tak fake. Aku cukup tak paham bila kau tak suka someone, then depan2 baik and blakang2 ckp macam2. Lagi senang, if kau nampak org yg kau tak suka, BUAT2 TAK NAMPAK je.

2. Girls yg guna perkataan syg, baby, darling, babe, honey dll to other girls. If yg korang betul2 baik, besfren segala bagai, aku tak kisah. Ni yg tak baik pun sibuk nak panggil camtu apehal? Weird tau tak? Senang ckp lagi skali, fake la.

3. Girls yg bila nampak lelaki byk2 depan mata, automatically jadi gelak over2, suara terlebih kuat tiba2. Ni pun aku tak paham gak. Or kadang2 tu, bila dah tau dorang ni menarik perhatian org dengan suara dorang (dari jeritan or gelak ketawa) tp still teruskan gak. Cm membiarkan diri dikacau. Tak paham.

4. Budak2 prmpuan tak cukup umur yg bermekap and berpakaian tak padan dgn umur. Sabar dik, masa anda akan tiba.

5. Girls yg betul2 cantik, yg berpakaian cantik, yg pandai berfesyen. Sebab aku jeles. Hahahaha.

random photos

2011-09-05T00:30:00.008+08:00

Summer Syndrome

2011-09-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

Ada 2 soklan dlm hidup ni (stakat ni) yg aku tak boleh nk jawab:

1. Kenapa aku break ngan dia?

2. Kenapa aku dgn dia?

* dua2 ni mempunyai dia yg berlainan

Takdela dua2 soklan ni slalu bermain di kepala otak, kadang2 jela esp soalan 1 tu. Tp seriously bila soklan ni muncul, aku tak dapat nak jwb. Kadang2 smpai jadi stress. And smlm, soklan ni muncul lagi tanpa dipinta. And seorang kwn baik aku dah memberi serba sedikit jwpn yg agak relevan, yg aku boleh trime la untuk sedapkan hati wlupun padahal takde pn menjawab soklan. Hahaha.

"Ko mcm pompuan summer tu kot, tetibe realise", kata kwn baik ku itu. Mula2 aku tak dapat paham apa maksud dia, sape summer tu (sbb aku dah confuse ngn summer frm The OC. hahaha). Bila dia dah bgtau summer yg mana, baru la aku paham.

Summer yg dimaksudkan di sini ialah Summer from "500 days of Summer". Tau kn cerita tu? Kisah di mana seorang lelaki nama Tom, jumpa Summer yg dia rasa "the love of his life", semua pun baik2 takde masalah, then suddenly she left him with no reason and suddenly she met someone else and dont know why she fell in love with him and then get married to him.

So apparently, I'm Summer. Enough said.

mulut kurang filter

2011-09-04T02:14:00.001+08:00

Kadang2 aku rasa aku kurang memikirkan prasaan org lain. Eh bkn bkn, aku slalu pikir prasaan org lain. Tp disebabkan aku ni jenis kurang terasa or amik kesah bout pape pn, so aku slalu assume org lain pn jenis takkan terasa or amik kesah gak. Haha bole cmtu?

Esp bout him, my exbf. Dahla aku sukati je tinggalkn dia without any good reason, sukati ada org lain pas tinggalkn dia, pastu bole pulak sukati lepak ngn dia cm xde benda jadi. Ntah apa la sbnrnye dia rasa kn? Maybe skrg xde rasa apa la, tp awal2 dlu cmne? Bru break xsmpai sebulan, aku bole sukati pg beraya bersama siap die dtg amik kt rmh. Jenis xpikir prasaan org aku ni sbnrnye.

Pastu skrg lak, mulut aku ni kdg2 sukati je ckp bnde2 bongok (tp lawak) bout relationship kitorg. Contoh 1, time buka puasa kire die bayar sikit je, kire aku blanje sikit sbb yela die xkeje lagi. Pastu org lain sume sedar n kecoh la tanye nape die bayar sikit? Aku pulak sukati jwb sbb die exbf aku, aku kne bayar gantirugi, kire cm pampasan la for what I've done. Haha sukati sukati. Contoh 2 lak, td kitorg karok. Ada la lagu2 jiwang heartbroken kne tinggal bf/gf, bf/gf curang sgale bagai. Aku sukati je ckp lagu tu sesuai ntuk die tuju kt aku. Wlupn aku hanye bisik kt kwn2 aku, tp disbb kn mulut dorg pn main sukati je ckp, ofkos la smpai ke tlinge dia tu jgk. Haha. Contoh 3, die munh pdax nk tngkap gmbar td. Aku pn sibuk nk masuk skali, n trus aku ckp kirenye cm 2 ex couple la tngkap gmbar (munh n pdax pn excouple :p). Trus dorg ckp ko xyah nk mention ek ila. Haha msti mulut aku ni main lepas je kn ckp? Wlupn aku rase die jenis xterasa, mana tau die terasa sbnrnye kn?

But they are my friends, he is my friend. So dorg mmg tau aku cmni kn? Die lagi la mmg tau aku cmni, die dh tau sgt prangai aku cmne. So maybe die xterasa apa pn kn? Lgpn ni sume gurau je. Bergurau tu bagus ntuk merapatkn silaturrahim n ntuk x membuatkn bnde jd awkward. Haha. But still, try to behave shakila :p

duit raya

2011-09-02T01:41:00.001+08:00

So tahun ni tahun pertama aku bagi duit raya instead of menerima duit raya. 1st time selepas 24 years. Klu ada org yg rasa beban bg duit raya ni, aku pulak rasa excited. Seriously excited. Aku siap simpan duit kot semata2 nk bg duit raya tahun ni. Semata2 ok.

So aku abis rm1600 ntuk duit raya tahun ni. Aku bajet rm1400, tp pastu aku decided to give to my uncles and auntie gak, so aku kurangkn beberapa ringgit ntuk beberapa org, n tmbah lg sket peruntukan duit raya. Sape cousins n anak buah yg aku xjumpa, aku xbagi. Haha.

Oh pastu aku bg sikit gak ntuk besfren abah+isteri, and besfren mak. Over gak sbnrnye smpai besfren mak abah pn nak bagi. But dorg kenal aku since aku lahir, dorg jaga aku n layan aku cm anak sndiri. Sbb mak abah kawin 1st antara sume kwn2, so aku jela bdk kecik yg ada dlu. N masa tu pulak sume org xkawin lg, n mak abah pn kire muda lagi, so msti la asik nk melepak je. Terpaksala lepak pn bwk aku gak smpai pagi buta. So sume org jaga aku, sbb aku je bdk kecik yg ada. So apa salahnye balas budi sikit2 kn?

Kesimpulannya, perbelanjaan aku as duit raya tahun ni bole la dihimpunkan disini:

Mak and Abah= 200+200= 400

Adik adik= 150+100+100+100= 450

Makcik Pakcik= 50x11= 550

Cousins= (2x30)+(4x5)= 80

Anak buah= (3x10)+(8x5)= 70

Makcik Nora, Pakcik Adik, Auntie Ina= 30x3= 90

Anak Pakcik Adik= 10x3= 30

Total= 400+450+550+80+70+90+30= 1670

Banyak sebenarnya duit yg dibelanjakan, but family aku mmg gila2 la gak bagi duit raya. Family belah abah la especially. Klu org lain stakat dapat 100 pun dah kira byk, kitorg baru sorang dua bagi dah dapat 100. And yg paling special, makin tambah umur makin banyak duit raya smpai la dah keje. Like last year, aku dapat 500 kot. And this year, adik dapat rm1100. Gila banyak seribu kot!

Bukan la kitorg ni materialistik, pentingkan duit. But benda ni seronok. Seronok bagi duit byk2 kt adik2 and tgk dorg happy. Seronok bagi duit kt mak abah. Seronok bagi duit kt pakcik makcik smpai dorang terharu. Semua tu seronok. Because its special, we have special relationship. Bak kata mak abah la, "its the joy of giving. Keseronokan memberi". Patutla slame ni aku slalu tgk abah suka bagi duit raya byk2 kt semua anak buah dia, suka bagi macam2 la, hadiah la apa la. So skrg baru aku tau sbb apa. BUUUUTTT, aku takdela byk gaji mcm abah. So pasni kena berjimat sikit la kot.

ps: tp abah ckp abah bagi duit if tak cukup duit belanja this month. Maybe abah dah cukup proud and happy aku bagi duit raya kt adik beradik dia, smpai dia sanggup je bagi duit kt aku nnt :p

"Awk mesti suka pink kn?" kata tukang jual kasut

2011-08-28T03:13:00.003+08:00

Bf with my pink iPad. And my new Pink shoes. Pehal pink je ni?

DAY 17 DONE

2011-08-28T03:05:00.002+08:00

Day 17- How you hope your future will be?

Em future heh? Easy. I wish, in my future there will always him in it. The rest doesn't matter la.

Doa Shakila doa.

iklan motivasi

2011-08-23T01:25:00.000+08:00

Bf anda mengelak bila berbicara hal kahwin? Bf anda jd takut apabila anda suarakan mahu bersamanya sehingga tua? Apa yg perlu anda lakukan? Setia menunggu, ataupun berlalu pergi?

Jangan khuatir.
Jawapannya senang sahaja.

Kalau ada jodoh, tak kemana. Have faith.
InsyaAllah :)

Saya menang iPad

2011-08-21T05:50:00.003+08:00

I won an iPad. Cool kn? Not the iPad la tapi, the fact yg aku won it tu yg cool. Lucky draw kot, come on, aku tak penah selucky tu. Smpai bole si munh tanya "Sejak bila ko jd lucky?". So kiranya dah terer abis la ni. Ipad kot, harga rm1400 kot. Oh lupa 1 lagi, iPad 2 kot. Org lain beratur nak beli, kumpul duit nak beli, tiba2 aku dapat. Terer kot. Hahaha.

But the truth is, iPad sucks. Aku tak paham sbnrnye fungsi iPad ni. Dah ada smartphone, buatpe lagi manusia serba tamak ni nak iPad lg? Dahla gedabak. Ntuk org suka main game ok kot, bole la main game. Esp if dorang takde iPhone. So kesimpulannya, aku excited dpt iPad ni sbb adik2 aku suka, dorang bole la main game. Tahniah adik adik ku.

Pape pn, I would like to thank rgba for giving this iPad to me and to Abid for pulling out my number. 0141 rocks!

The future, maybe?

2011-08-11T00:26:00.001+08:00

Hopefully. InsyaAllah.

2011-08-09T00:53:00.003+08:00

We will always have different opinions, we will never stop arguing bout stupid thing. But I will always love you. If tomorrow there's no you with me, the first thing I will remember are all of our debates, arguments, opinions and fights.

You're annoyingly stubborn.

1st Buka Puasa MRSMBP 02/03 tahun 2011

2011-08-08T00:10:00.009+08:00

Reunion yg paling tak happening dlm sejarah reunion MRSMBP 02/03. Klu Pdax baca ni, konfem dia terasa. Hahaha. Maybe sbb tak ramai org yg datang, siap ada yg merajuk taknak dtg sbb tak diajak officially (blah ah hilmi, akmal). Tp aku rasa maybe sbb bukan aku yg organize. Muahaha :p

Bermula ngn makan di Bumbu Desa (kedai fav Mimi) smpai 9 lebih kot sbb tunggu semua abis smyg jugak. Then sambung ke karok, sbb organizer nk sgt karok, till 11 something. Tp by 11 aku dah balik dah. Oh and aku sampai awal drpd yg lain, aku dah tinggalkn "Janji MRSM" yg slalunya tak tepati janji and tak tepati masa. Hahahah.

But pape pun, it was fun. It was a night dimana semua org mulut ckp main lepas. And juga malam memperingati ex masing2, dan ex couple of maktab. Haha. Beberapa dialog femes on that night:

- "Siapa yg mintak break ek? Akmal tinggalkn Mimi ke Mimi tinggalkan Akmal?" "Takkan Akmal kot tinggalkn Mimi. Mestila Mimi tinggalkn Akmal" by aku, Munh, Zape and Ainod.

- " Benda lepas jangan dikenang" by Zape ditujukan khas untuk Munh n Pdax secara tiba2, yg kebetulan tgh bercakap sket. (they were a couple)

- "Patutlah ko ngan Husmi break. Msti sbb ko 'lupa' ko ada Husmi" by Ainod ditujukan khas kt aku lepas aku lupa dialog diatas time nak cerita balik kt Mak, padahal benda tu baru je happened.

- "Time masuk form 5, semua prmpuan nama S dah break ngn bf cm Shakila, Shamimi, Shakirah, Shafini, Sherry (Syarida) dll" by Ainod time mengenang zaman maktab.

- "Mesti Ainod diam sbb baru sebut nama Fini td" by aku sbb sume ckp nape Ainod tiba2 diam. Masa tu Ainod baru pas ckp dialog di atas (Ainod and Fini were a couple back in form 4)

- "Nape Munh kurus?" by semua guys, sibuk nk cungkil cite pasal Munh.

- "Si A dah tunang. Ooppss!" by Munh, terlepas ckp kt semua org then aku konon cover benda tu dgn bodohnya. (identiti A terpaksa dirahsiakan)

- "Takde budak maktab yg dah ada anak kn?" "Eh Suhaily dah ada anak la" "Siapa Suhaily/Ely?" time borak psl budak maktab yg dah kawin tp xde anak lg, except for Ely Suria and Sakinah Suria. Ainod xkenal sape Ely.

Ni je la antara dialog yg aku ingat. But mostly mmg semua ckp lepas/perli each other, and byk ckp pasal ex masing2. Ntah apsal ntah. Hahaha. And pas dah balik pn, sambung lagi tu kt FB pulak. Mak la paling takde filter kt FB tu. Hahaha.

Next buka puasa pulak ok? Bila korang? Jom ramai2!

DAY 16 DONE

2011-08-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

Day 16- a picture of someone who inspires you.

Soklan ni agak susah actually because I dont have an idol. Ada org put their mother or father as idol, tp maybe bg aku pulak they are my parents, and I love them so much but they're not my idol. Jahat ke cmtu ek? Tak kan? Sorry mak, sorry abah. Tp ila syg mak abah tau, syg sgt.

Em so, maybe yg paling terdekat ntuk jd idol pn, yg agaknye inspires me serba sedikit, em maybe banyak gak la; Puan Lola. She's my lecturer in UiTM, ajar TV Production. Maybe sbb tu subjek yg menarik, so aku jd cm sgt suka kelas dia, tp aku rasa maybe jugak sbb she was a good lecturer, great jugak la kirenye. Ive always wanted to be a director/producer and a lecturer too, just like her. Sbb tu jugak aku nk amik Master. Sbb dia.

Kesimpulannya, Im interested in Broadcasting bcause of I love watching TV. But Im interested in Production because of Puan Lola. So yes, she inspires me. Thank you.

* tak payah pic la ok :p

i dont like this quote

2011-08-07T03:58:00.002+08:00

"If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you"

Lately asik dgr/baca ayat ni or ayat lebih kurang yg membawa maksud yg sama la. And honestly, aku tak suka ayat ni. Buat aku terasa2 benda ni akan jadi kt aku ke? Or aku akan buat benda ni jgk ke nanti?

Hopefully it wont happen to us. InsyaAllah I will not do that to him, and dia pun takkan buat kt aku. I know that anything can happen, good ke bad ke. Kita bole stakat berdoa and berusaha that everything will be fine.

But, he didnt leave his ex because of me. He said that, and aku pun rasa bkn sbb aku. Tp aku pulak, I dont know whether i leave my ex bcause of him. Pape pun, hope this relationship akan kekal smpai bila2, InsyaAllah :)

DAY 15 DONE

2011-08-05T01:03:00.002+08:00

Day 15- something you don't leave the house without.

Ala soklan boring gila. Typical stuffs la weh, like wallet yg berisi money and ic and lesen, handphone ofcourse, and kunci kete. Lipbalm juga and getah rmbut if getah tu ada. Tu jela kot.

Yeay dah abis jwb!

brutal is a funny word. bila sebut byk kali, jd kelakar.

2011-08-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

"Dia segan nak tegur u sbb u cm brutal"

A friend told me bout this earlier today. Apparently, ada manusia yg takut nk tegur aku kt astro sbb aku nmpak brutal. Haha.

What is brutal actually? Is it "nampak ganas"? But I don't dressed up ganas-ly. Slalunya stakat pki jeans/black jeans, converse and a shirt. Sometimes with sweater. With no make up (except for blusher bg nmpk naik sket seri muka konon) n sometimes but rarely nowadays, eyeliner. Tu gaya org brutal ke? Bkn brutal pki jeans koyak2, jaket kulit/jeans, or baju band rock2 ke? Baju band pn aku xde except for the beatles (ni la 1 keburukan xpay attention to music n band sgt sbb nk pki tshirt pn rasa xbest sbb bkn tau pn psl dorg sgt n lagu dorg)

Apa kesimpulan percakapan ni actually? So kesimpulannya, aku dpt tmbah 1 lg koleksi panggilan org kt aku slain drpd; sombong, garang, tak friendly, suka menyendiri. Oh kakak cafe pn ckp aku garang. Kakak cafe pn perhati aku rupenye :p

Eh tp tringat pulak shak once said, aku ni brutally honest. So ada word brutal gak la. Hik hik.

beberapa pengajaran sepanjang minggu ini

2011-08-02T00:54:00.005+08:00

Few things I've learned these past few days:

1. Do not lie to your partner. Jangan sekali sekali pun tipu. Ok, bukan stakat tipu but don't ever hide things from your partner. Because it will lead to something bad. Camne pun, benda yg tak bagus jugak akan jd at the end. So, DON'T, just don't.

2. Trust is a really big issue in a relationship. Once hilang je trust tu, its hard for you to gain it back. Susah nak mampus, esp if you have a bf like mine.

3. I've realized that I really love him. I already knew it for the past 8-10 months maybe, but skrg, lebih lebih lagi tau. He is special, more than I thought he would be. And its weird, because he is so annoying, extremely annoying. But dah sayang, nak buat camne right? Cinta itu buta. Haha.

4. I didnt know I can feel something like this. Bole rasa sesakit ni, sekuat ni, sepenuh keazaman spt ini, serindu ni kt someone, sesayang ni kt someone jgk, lagi2 to someone like him. I thought I already passed that phase, yela sbb dah umur 25 kn, but benda ni bertambah2 rasa skrg bila dah tua ni. Menyampah. Haha.

5. Baru tau jugak yg bersenam kt gym bole buat lupa byk perkara, because we will focus on the calories yg nk buang, or the time, the sweat, semua2 la. Oh and that one thing jugak. I should really do it more often, pls Shakila.

6. After 5 days kot, I know now, everything will be okay. Everything will work out, InsyaAllah. Just teruskan semangat, teruskan doa, teruskan usaha. Have faith Shakila.

I love you Hasnol Hadi Humaidi. I did 1 mistake, and I will never ever ever do it again. I miss you baby. You are my boyfriend, always have and always will be. InsyaAllah :)

*antara pic terawal kita. dahla tak byk pic pulak tu :p i think this was taken almost a month after we're together, kt kedai refreshing. haha

2011-07-26T01:10:00.000+08:00

Lagi senang org nak buat kita rasa tak penting, drpd buat kita rasa penting. Kn?

DAY 14 DONE

2011-07-25T01:00:00.004+08:00

Day 14- a tv show that you're currently addicted to.

The one and only, THE OC.

Takkan ada yg lain yg bole ganti The OC. Wlupun dah bertahun cerita tu habis. Haha.

Other than that, buat masa ni, Grey's Anatomy. And cerita Korea mak and adik tgk; You Don't Know Women.

buat baik, insyaAllah dibalas baik

2011-07-24T23:30:00.001+08:00

Aku sedar, aku ada habit dimana aku suka beli brg untuk org lain, drpd beli untuk diri sndiri. Aku rasa aku penah mention pn benda ni in my previous post.

For example aritu, I bought something for my bf and I left it on his work desk. Dia pulak bongok xsedar lgsung benda tu atas meja, kwn dia yg tanya amende tu then bru la dia bukak beg kertas tu. So ofkos kecoh la kn 1 ofis psl aku belikn something ntuk dia. Example lain pulak, I went out with my friends to the mines, ntuk apa pn aku xingat dah. So I bought jco donuts for my bf because I know he loves donut and chocolates, and my friend, ida. 6 for my bf so that he can share with his friends, and 2 for ida. So then, my colleague who sat nxt to ida said something bout baiknya aku ni bought something for ida. Then another colleague pulak asked me, nape belikn donut tu ntuk bf aku? Ada pape special occasion ke? So I answered, saja je belikn sbb dh kluar n nmpk benda tu.

Kdg2 tu bila org tanya cmtu, aku terpk gak la kn, pelik ke ntuk aku beli something for my special someone just because I know he likes them, or he wants them or simply because I want to. Ada jgk kwn2 bf aku (kwn2 aku jgk la kirenye, dh sama ofis kn) ckp, buatpe la belikn pape ntuk bf aku tu padahal bf aku bkn ada belikn pape ntuk aku? So I said to them, "korang xpenah ke rasa happy bg something kt someone, and rasa happy je bila tgk someone pakai benda yg korg belikn?"

Sbb tu la apa aku rasa.

Rasa happy bila tgk dia pakai benda yg ko beli, rasa happy tgk dia mkn benda yg ko beli. Kehappyan benda yg xseberapa tu pn dh cukup memuaskn ati aku.

And, aku bru sedar ni, benda tu xpelik pn. Because I went to guardian last night with wanna n lynn. Wanna dah sibuk beli pencuci muka ntuk bf dia (wlupun bf dia xmintak n xpakai) n si lynn pulak dh tanya aku nk beli pape ntuk senol ke. Cm dia pn tau2 je aku msti tgk something ntuk bf, and dia pn ckp biasala perempuan msti nk pk psl org lain gak.

So, xdela weird sgt kn? Kwn aku pn sume cmtu. Maybe org lain weird sbb dorg xmcmtu, gf bf dorg xmcmtu, kwn2 dorg n org sekeliling dorg pn xmcmtu. Sbb tu jgk la aku xpenah berkira ngn kwn2 aku sbb aku tau kwn2 aku akn buat benda yg sama gak. Apa benda yg kita buat, msti dibalas. Tp tu bkn la maksudnya bila aku beli something for someone, aku harap org tu bg something kt kite jgk. Senang cite cmni, aku buat benda tu sbb aku rasa if aku kt tmpat org tu, msti aku rasa happy ada org bg something or anything. So kita buat la apa yg kita rasa kita akn happy bila someone else buat kt kita.

Ada paham x? Aku rasa ayat last2 sume dh tunggang terbalik sbb wanna bru pas call, so aku dh lari focus tulis psl benda ni. N benda ni random je pn :p

Bye!

Day 13 DONE

2011-07-23T03:03:00.002+08:00

Day 13- a picture of your favourite band or artist.

Baru je nak tulis pasal benda ni actually, pastu kebetulan lak soklan num 13 pn psl benda2 band and artist ni.

In these past 2 years ni, byk international band or artist yang dtg Malaysia. And byk la manusia yg minat bands and artist ni yg pegi tgk kn. Semua org pn cm excited, cm sibuk beli tiket or carik tiket free semua. Except for me.

Unfortunately for me, I don't have any band or artist that I like. Seriously, mmg takde la. So kiranya aku tak penah ada rasa excited la nk tgk pape band perform pun. Kalau ada, ada. Kalau takde, tak memberi pape prasaan pn kt idup aku ni. Bosan gak idup camni kot. Haha.

Stakat ni, band yg aku excited nak pegi tgk if ada dtg pn The Strokes je, Tu pun sbb wanna minat gila babi The Strokes. And aku akan temankan dia camne pun kalau dorg datang sini. And I'm quite excited gak la. Oh and dulu ada skali konon Beyonce nak dtg Malaysia, tu pn aku excited gak la sket sbb Wanna suka nyanyi lagu Beyonce so dia nak tgk, so aku pn cam beriya gak la tanya org tiket. Tp xde pun dia datang. Haha.

So kesimpulannya, I dont have any favourite band or artist. Pelik gak kn? But maybe I am a TV person, not a radio person kot. And slalunya lagu yang aku dengar pun, msti from any movie or TV series, from radio, or from friends.

ps: slalu pk sronok gak kot if minat music, bole sama ngn bf. atleast bole la share ngn dia, bole minat band sama, bole jd girl yg dia suka kot. but unfortunately, im not that kind of girl. just hope he will still love me tak kire la camne pn aku.

i love tv series

2011-07-20T01:22:00.000+08:00

I love watching tv. Sape yg kenal aku mmg tau la yg aku suka sgt2 tgk tv. Movies ofkos la kn, tp aku sgt2 suka tgk tv series. Tak kisah la kisah remaja mcm The OC ke, cerita doctor cm Greys Anatomy ke, cerita nerd jd cantik cm Ugly Betty ke, or pape jela. And maybe la kn, maybe, tv series lg menarik drpd movies.

Bila dipikirkn, movie cm stakat 2 jam, plg lama 3 jam. Kita just create stories for that 2 hiurs je. Maybe susah sket la sbb nk muatkn sume benda dlm 2 hours. But tv series berjam2, berpuluh2 jam, berepisod2. Cmne nk reka cerita yg start mcmni, then cerita tu berkembang, then maybe jd something lain sket pulak, then maybe ada tambah character pulak? Anything can happen in tv series.

How can this amazing people create the storyline of that tv series, then make sure penonton xboring dgn cerita tu? Take Greys Anatomy la for example, gila nk buat research melampau kot sbb tu cerita dunia sebenar. Then xkan la nk buat every episode tu sama je, stakat ada doctor rawat patient, msti la kne buat lain2 every episode. Betapa susahnya benda tu bila nk pikir balik.

Or amik cerita How I Met Your Mother lak, every main character yg 5 org tu, semua ada strong character n personality. Like they create manusia sebenar. And then, byk episode cerita tu yg ada bersambung ngn episode lain or ada kaitan, so mcm org tu nk pikir byk benda kot. Dorg kena ingat small details on apa dh jd episode lepas, or plan apa nk jd episode akan dtg.

Benda ni random thoughts je actually, but it makes me think la. Beriya gak la pikir tetiba. Pikir smbil tgk an interesting episode of Greys Anatomy :)

Day 12 DONE

2011-07-18T00:23:00.002+08:00

Day 12- Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.

Benda ni ckp if single je. If dlm relationship, takyah explain ke ek? Sukati aku la if nak jugak kn? hehe

So, I am in a relationship with Hasnol Hadi Humaidi atau nama komersialnya Hasnol Jafaar. Tak bole taruk "in a relationship with" kt fb, kt sini pn jadi la. Sebenarnya benda pasal relationship ni, aku baru je tulis kt 2 post before ni. But aku tulis jugak la kt sini serba sedikit.

The relationship I have with him is kinda weird, unique, lain from my previous relationships, fun, menyakitkan hati, happy, bodoh, kadang2 mcm tak bermakna but sebenarnya sgt bermakna, sexy (yes, the relationship is sexy), rilex, meaningful and real.

I love him. Tu je.

Day 11 DONE

2011-07-18T00:01:00.003+08:00

skip num 9 and 10 sbb boring. sbb aku takde gmbar ntuk 2 benda tu. sbb aku xnak carik gmbar kt internet, aku nk gmbar yg aku tangkap sndiri.

so Day 11- what's in your make up bag?

I don't have a make up bag. Bag je ada la. So in my bag ada:
- handphone
- purse
- lip balm
- blusher
- eye liner
- bedak talkum baby johnson
- sampah sarap bersepah
- pin jurasic park bf bagi
- tag astro
- coklat selalunya
- sunglasses
- kunci kereta

tu jela slalunya. sekian

You are my baby love

2011-07-17T22:57:00.003+08:00

I love my bf, I really do. Whenever I think of him, I'll smile to myself. It may sounds silly, but its true. Especially when we're in the good mood, happy and loving mode, semuanya jadi indah belaka. Like now :)

Sometimes, I do doubt him. Slalu je rasa dia tak syg aku la, tak rindu aku la, tak ingat aku la. Trust me, klu korang dpt bf cm dia, korang pn akan rasa cmtu gak. But, because of bf cm dia gak la, bila rasa happy tu, msti rasa happy yg amat. Every little nice things yg dia buat konfem akn bg impak maksima la. That kind of feeling agak nice jugak la.

Despite all his flaws, his kekasaran and ketidakromantikan, his lack of PDA n words of love, I know his love me. And maybe, he loves me so much. Bila dipikirkan sebetulnya, wlupun aku asik mengadu dia xbuat mcm2 ntuk aku, dia byk jgk buat mcm2 kot. And dia amat la bersabar dgn aku. Ingat senang ke org mcm dia ntuk sabar bila aku terlupa aku parking kt tmpat yg dkt ngn ofis sbnrnye tp kitorg dah jln ke parking yg plg hujung dunia, senang ke dia nk ckp yes ntuk pg tmpat yg aku ajak pastu tahan marah dia bila susah nk carik parking slame almost sejam pastu panas terik cm babi pastu aku terlanggar pagar pastu byk manusia yg annoying kt tmpat tu, senang ke dia ntuk tahan segala benda bodoh yg aku buat, segala benda yg aku lupa buat or taruk mana, segala perkara malang yg berlaku kt kitorg 2.

Bila dipikirkan balik, don't know why, tp byk sgt benda, masalah, kemalangan, kecuaian, perkara bodoh yg jd kt kitorg 2. Cm kdg2 kita tak sangka benda tu bole jd, tp msti jd. Contoh plg senang, tiket parking yg rosak lebih 5 kali la bila kitorg together. Mustahil kot benda tu sume. Haha.

Haih I love him, I just do. He may be the worst to others, or the worst to me too sometimes, but he's definitely the best in his own unique way. And I just love him, and all his craziness. Its almost a year since our 1st date together, and we don't hv any exact date to be our anniversary date, so maybe the date of the 1st date bole dikira as anniversary.

Bkn slalu nak tulis benda jiwang cmni, so pls tahan semua kejiwangan ni ok kpd sape yg membacanye. Padahal xde la jiwang mana pn :p

I love you baby. Thanks for everything, thanks for being mine.
Muah!

Ingat senang ke nk sayang muka annoying ni? :p

Day 8 - anggap je DONE

2011-07-11T00:54:00.002+08:00

can i skip day 8 punya question? because i cant think of any song to match my mood.

Thanks.

indah

2011-07-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

Kahwini teman karibmu, sayang. Usah pilih kekasih semata. Kau perlukan seorang yg gila. Menghadap ragammu tiap masa. Bila tua dan anakmu terbang, yg tinggal kau berdua bersembang. Biarpun gaduh ada gunanya. Biarpun diam rasa selesa :)

taken from munirah zainuddin's fb.

2011-07-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

I hate this feeling. The feeling of when you miss someone but you can't do anything about it. Or when you love someone so much, but you can't express it. Or the feeling when you feel so lonely but he's sitting next to you.

And it hurts.

Day 7 DONE

2011-07-03T23:51:00.004+08:00

Day 7- your dream wedding

dream wedding? susah tu. actually tak kisah la camne pn, but with the guy i love. and semua kwn2 aku kena datang, n kena menyibuk tlg semua. nak byk2 pic ngn kwn2. haha. and cm best klu malam pastu ada lampu byk2 yg mcm kt maxis centre sunway pyramid.

kesimpulannya:
love + friends + lampu maxis centre sunway pyramid= dream wedding.

hahaha

Day 6 DONE

2011-07-03T23:47:00.000+08:00

Day 6- a photo of an animal you' love to keep as a pet

Day 5 DONE

2011-07-03T23:21:00.003+08:00

Day 5- a picture of something you want to do before you die

picture 1 + pic 2. paham2 jela :p

we dont know what will happen in the future, we can only hope and wish for the best.

Day 4 DONE

2011-07-03T23:01:00.004+08:00

Day 4- your favourite photo of your bestfriends

ada byk je actually tp malas nk carik lg. cukup la stakat ni. klu bole sume org punye pic nk taruk. haha

2011-07-03T22:54:00.002+08:00

random photo.
i miss your hair baby.

Day 3 DONE

2011-06-29T20:47:00.003+08:00

Day 3- your idea of the perfect first date

for me, the perfect first date is with the perfect guy; the guy i love. tak kisah la camne pn date tu, buat ape pn xpe, pg mana pn xheran. asalkn dpt spendtime together. tu je :)

Day 2 DONE (wlupun lmbat)

2011-06-29T12:39:00.003+08:00

Day 2 : your favourite movie

ni yg susah ni. sbb taktau apa fav movie aku actually. semua cite pn aku suka, semua cite pn aku tak suka. haha.

aku suka cite romantic cm The Notebook, cite dongeng cm Harry Potter, cite friendship cm Now and Then (lama dah cite ni, time darjah brape ntah), cite sains fiksyen cm Back To The Future, cite perang2 cm em xdpt pikir apa skrg tp aku suka. Saving Private Ryan best gak, tp xdela perang sgt pn actually.

ok tu jela aku dpt pikir skrg.
bosannya soklan ni. haha

"people who cant let go of the past will never move on"

2011-06-26T23:26:00.006+08:00

sape cakap ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends tak bole jadi kawan? dalam pictures ni je ada atleast 3 ex couples kot. tak tau la if ada ex scandals ke apa ke :p

org ckp, buang yg keruh amik yg jernih. just hold on to the good and happy memories, and if byk bad memories, just pikir yg benda tu semua la yg jadikan diri kita skrg. and remember, at one time, you used to be in love with that person (or maybe you still are), so in my opinion, prasaan care tu mesti slalu ada. unless if tak penah syg. haha. and you've shared everything together so nape nak waste all that and jadi tak bertegur, jadi bermusuh, jadikan semua benda awkward?

jadi, renung renungkan dan selamat beramal :)

*sumber: wedding betty yg akhirnya dah di upload pics nya!

Day 1 DONE

2011-06-26T22:53:00.004+08:00

so, should today be day 1? (please refer to my previous post :p) yesss!

Day 1: your favourite song.

I am the type of person who loves beautiful songs with beautiful lyrics. bole kata, lagu yg agak romantic la. ada few songs kot yg favourite, yg ada dlm handphone, yg bila dengar tu msti rasa cm menyentuh jiwa. and sometimes ada sesetengah lagu tu just remind me of certain memories or people

seperti;

- Hey Jude and All My Loving, yg by pelakon Across the Universe. sbb aku suka cite tu and pelakon tu. and yes, aku xtau nape aku tersentuh jiwa skit bila dengar.

- Island in The Sun, the Weezer. because maybe sometimes it reminds me of my 1st love. but mostly because it is a fun song. bila dgr je msti imagine kt beach with friends, happy2. suka :D

- Marry You (Bruno Mars), I'm Yours (The Script) and The Way You Look Tonight (Tony Bennet). sbb romantik, music slow and lirik menyentuh jiwa. eh Marry You tu sbb sweet and fun.

- The Scientist by Coldplay. reminds me of Wanna. we used to sing this song smbil baring atas tilam tanpa buat pape. and because lagu ni ada dlm cite Wicker Park, time Josh Hartnett jumpa blk gf dia. sumpah the sweetest scene ever.

- OST Adamaya, Yang Terindah. simply because it reminds me of him, and his obsession with Lisa Surihani (tp dah kurang skit kot skrg :p)

but my most favourite song ever, yg aku tak tau apsal aku slalu dengar lagu ni till now. drumroll, please

LEAVING ON A JETPLANE

sampai ada bdk mrsm yg tak brape kenal aku pn tau aku suka lagu tu, smpai nickname mirc aku gune jetplanegurl tu, smpai email aku pn jetplane_gurl@yahoo.com and jetplane_gurl@hotmail.com (zaman skolah eja girl jd gurl :p), and now pn aku dah start guna balik nickname tu :)

so yes, thats my all time favourite song.

thank you.

30 days challenge.

2011-06-26T22:49:00.001+08:00

so i decided to do this. saja bosan2 *taken from shepha's blog*

30 THINGS IN 30 DAYS CHALLENGE

day 1 : your favorite song
day 2 : your favorite movie
day 3 : your idea for perfect first date
day 4 : your favorite photograph of your best friend
day 5 : a picture of something you want to do before you die
day 6: a photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet
day 7 : your dream wedding
day 8 : a song that match your mood
day 9 : a photo of the item you last purchased
day 10 : a photo of your favorite place to eat
day 11 : what's in your make up bag?
day 12 : your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
day 13 : a picture of your favorite band or artist
day 14 : a tv show that you're currently addicted to
day 15 : something that you don't leave the house without
day 16 : a picture of someone who inspires you
day 17 : how you hope your future will be
day 18 : 5 things that irritate ME about opposite/ same sex
day 19 : What makes you different from everyone else?
day 20 : the meaning behind your blog name
day 21 : a photo of something that makes you happy
day 22 : a letter to someone who hurt you recently
day 23 : 15 facts about you
day 24 : a photo of something that means a lot to you
day 25 : who are you ?
day 26 : a photo of somewhere you want to go
day 27 : what kind of person attracts you?
day 28 : in this past month, what have you learn?
day 29 : something that you could never get tired of doing
day 30 : a photograph of yourself today + three good things that happened in the past 30 days.

lagipun kadang2 tak tau nk tulis apa so apa salahnya buat ni right? :)

zodiac

2011-06-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

GEMINI - The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good at confusing people… Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

haih

2011-06-22T00:44:00.003+08:00

td ada kad kawin bdk skolah lg smpai kt rmh. td baca blog kwn and she addressed her bf as fiancee. td tgk pic and baca blog someone yg pregnant. and they all are 25-26.

tak penah terpikir benda ni sume akan buat aku rasa tension. but i am now. bukan la tension, tp cm ada 1 prasaan yg terasa di hati la. prasaan "bila aku pulak?" lebih tepat lg, "bila aku nak besar ni?"

aku nk panggil bf aku tunang/suami aku. aku nak plan majlis kawin aku sume. aku nk ada baby yg muka cm aku+hubby. its not that i want it now, but i guess sedap sikit kot klu atleast kita ada plan sume tu.

pape pn, i dont want to get married just for the sake of getting married. i want to marry someone i love.

ps; dear bf, if you're reading this, dont panic. im not pushing u. ini hanyalah luahan perasaan (yg dipengaruhi hormon). i'll be okay tomorrow :)

ada ke?

2011-06-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

Aku buat byk stupid things time kt mrsm dulu. Aku gaduh ngn senior, aku ponteng prep nyorok blakang almari kt dorm then kantoi ngn cikgu, aku panjat tangki air pki baju kurung, aku pg lepak kt klas bdk lain smpai kena berdiri kt meeting dorm sbb lepak ngn bdk laki, aku kne denda beribu kali, aku mandi kt pili air kul 5 pagi, aku main bunga api then sume lari kne kejap ustaz, aku dating time weekend, aku mencangkul kt ujung padang n tanam time capsule kononnye, aku sntiasa tetdo time exam smpai bile big exam tu msti ada je yg angkat tgn suh penjaga periksa tu kejut aku, aku berlari 1 maktab without kasut sblh kaki sbb shak curik n mcm2 lg la. But ada 2 benda yg aku xingat buat yg org lain ckp aku buat, iaitu:

1st, aku xingat bile shak n munh ckp aku pnh mrajuk ke apentah time klas bio, then aku nyorok kt toilet smpai bdk laki panjat toilet sbb nk pujuk aku suh pegi klas. Sumpah xingat. Ada ke?

2nd, dulu ada pertubuhan DTG- don't trust girls kt maktab. Bdk2 astaka la buat. Mmg poyo dorg time tu. Aku mmg ingat tu. Yg aku xingat, shak ckp haziq yg buat sbb time tu cm aku break ngn die. Kirenye DTG tu start sbb kitorg break so haziq pn tubuhkn bnde tu sbb die dh xtrust girls, yg membawa maksud aku la tu. Ada ke? Haha

Haha klakar bile ingat time maktab. We're so young time tu.

i just want you to know

2011-06-21T00:53:00.001+08:00

I'm just telling you this, so that you will know and remember. InsyaAllah, jika dipanjangkan umur ditemukan jodoh, someday, I want to be married to you. I want to build a family with you, to have kids who look just like you. Just so you know.

Ps; if takde jodoh, I'm just glad I've known you and you're part of my life. We will always be friends, hopefully.

You make me happy :)

yeay!

2011-06-19T21:22:00.003+08:00

Our 1st wedding as a couple, not as colleagues. Selalunya if ada kwn aku yg kawin, msti kwn mrsm so msti bf taknak pegi. Klu ada kwn dia kawin lak, msti kwn uitm so msti tak bole ajak aku. So its hard tau. Luckily aku still ada kwn skolah andalas, so dgn baik hatinya kali ni bf teman. Wlupun hanya dgn memakai tshirt itam (konon nk pki baju gmbar setan tp xde pn :p), but still I appreciate it a lot. Sukaaa sgt :) I love you sayang! and i know you love me too!

xoxo

zaki's

2011-06-17T02:57:00.000+08:00

forever love :)

kedegilan kesangatan

2011-06-17T01:22:00.001+08:00

"Anak sulung memang degil. Sekian"

Someone tweeted that, and aku rasa ditujukan ntuk aku :p

Aku anak sulung, so adakah aku degil? Degil ke aku? Yeke degil? Aku degil ke? Ke degil aku? Haha. Maybe I am kot. Kedegilan tu mmg ada. Kedegilan tu dtg drpd ego, dimana anak sulung mempunyai ego yg tinggi. Bila dh ego tu, anak sulung merasakan yg he/she always right, or he/she always get what they want, so dorg akan buat apa saja ntuk mendapatkn apa dorg nak. So kdg2 benda tu jd degil jgk. Tp atleast kedegilan aku tu bkn la smpai jenis melawan kata dgn buat benda xbaik or bodo.

And, as an anak sulung, I am also vry independent. I can eat, shop, watch movies, or anything la by my own. So bila aku nak pegi somewhere, or buy something, or watch some movie, or eat some food, yg aku btul2 nak ketika itu, and I have my own car, and org yg diajak taknak teman I can totally do it on my own. Bila dpt buat sume tu sndiri, kite sedar yg kdg2 kita xperlu anyone else sgt pn, because we can stand on our own feet. Tp aku rasa ni lebih kpd prmpuan la, sbb anak sulung laki cm manja je, cm kena ada org teman buat pape or pegi mana2 je :p

I am what I am. I might be degil, sombong, suka menyendiri, tak friendly, egois etc but I will always love you, remember you, and listen to what you said (sometimes). Most importantly, I will always need you baby.

2011-06-12T23:08:00.001+08:00

mamak kuning. spek oldschool bf. rambut kembang. bf gelak cm bongok kt blkg.

we will never know

2011-06-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

Satu hari ni asik baca blog je (sbb free sgt :p), so tgk la post lama2 sume. And klu dah tgk bnde lama2 tu, msti la most of it bout him. I was happy with him, he was really great, I was totally in love, so what went wrong ek? What happened actually?

Its not that I'm not happy now so aku nk pk2 bout my past, tp sometimes, cm tertanya2 gak. N I know dia pn lagi la msti tertanya2. What actually happened that made me change the direction of my heart? Because there was nothing wrong with the relationship, we had everything, and I got everything I want from a relationship, from him.

I guess we just can't predict the future. One day we wanted to marry someone, the next day maybe dah tukar fikiran pulak. That's why la kot malas nk hope or pk lebih2 skrg. Sesuai la pulak ngn bf yg mmg taknak pk future, so maybe it is better ths way. If betul ada jodoh, then maybe 1 day, dgn tiba2 dia trus ajak kawin, then time tu la bru pk kawin. Maybe, hopefully :)

klu aku bole sepak muka kau, mmg aku sepak

2011-06-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

I should write this earlier, time tgh emo td or mlm td. But cm xde masa nk tulis, now emo dah ilang bru ada masa. Ceh. Haha

But td, mmg rasa emo yg amat. Smpai if aku ckp sket pn psl hal ni, aku bole rasa nk nangis sbb terlampau marah n nyampah. Maybe sbb prasaan tu xlepas, tu yg rasa nk nangis tu. Maybe sbb aku nk period gak, so emo melampau je rasa. Haha

Senang cite la, dipendekkan cite, disimpulkn cite, aku pantang org depan lain blkg lain. Aku pantang org ckp psl someone blkg2 die, tp depan2 baik je berdarling sayang baby sume. Aku pantang org yg asik ckp psl keburukan org lain, psl sume org punye keburukan tanpa secalit pn kebaikan. Aku pantang org yg rasa die je bagus, die cm bole jd ketua ntuk sume org, cm sume org buat pape sbb dgr ckp die, cm die plg hebat la.

Aku mmg tak friendly. Aku bole ckp ngn certain ppl je. If org tu aku rasa ok, mmg byk la aku ckp smpai dorg akn ckp aku joyah ke apa ke. Tp if org tu aku xada rasa pape, aku akn ckp secara casual or profesional je. Tp if org tu aku mmg tak suka, aku takkan ckp ngn dia. Aku takkan pretend aku suka dia, trying to borak ngn dia, tegur dia dgn lembutnye, or pape lagi. Aku xbole sorok prasaan aku. Tp maybe if org yg aku tak suka tu tegur, aku bole je jwb balik tp stakat tu jela. Sbb bg aku, apa point? Dah kita tak suka, buatpe kita nk ckp lg?

Senang kata, tak suka buat cara tak suka. Benci buat cara benci. Klu tak pecaya someone tu, xpayah berbaik dgn someone tu smpai cm rapat semacam. Jgn jd plastic sgt. Klu muka cantik bole trime lg plastic, ni muka tak cantik jd plastic pn buruk. Tu je.

Aku punye tak suka smpai tahap aku nk tunjuk kt sume org aku tak suka. Biar sume org tau. Bodoh.

i can only gv him a birthday card

2011-06-06T22:55:00.001+08:00

So like I've said, I gave nothing to my bf on his bday. He kept on asking for his present wlupun aku beribu kali la aku bgtau takde hadiah. Maybe he was hoping there will be a surprise for him la. But I did wish him like a lot, in fb twitter blog depan2, sume2 la kire. Cukup la kn? Oh demit, lupa nk wish kt email ofis. Hahaha :p and I gave him a card. A hari raya look alike card (bak kate bf la). Haha

A weird thing happened when I gave the card to him, when he read it. I cried. Haha. Aku yg bg kad, aku yg nangis pulak. Bodoh gile :p maybe sbb aku nervous die nak baca kot, sbb kad tu cm penuh ngn ayat jiwang yg menggelikan. Dahla tulisan buruk nak mati. Xkena lgsung tulisan buruk ngn ayat jiwang. Hahaha.

Or maybe it was because, I didn't get him anything for his bday, nothing. Ntah2 exgf die dulu2 bagi hadiah special stp kali bday dia, or maybe buat pape special celebration. Aku pulak bg kad, ajak tgk wyg kt summit yg rupenye cite tu xwujud time tu (bodoh punye website gsc, kt internet lain kt cinema lain), ganti ngn activity tgk2 dvd cetak rompak, n diakhiri ngn blanje mkn ayam penyet. Lgsung x special. Hahaha

Or maybe 1 lg jugak, sbb I know and remember everything I wrote on the card. So bila dia bace tu, aku maybe tringat blk sume2 ayat tu and I realized that I really mean every single word of it. Hahaha terjiwang pulak :p

Ok dah. Cukup cukup. Bye!

Ps: bru sedar bf hack twitter aku tulis "pencemaran bunyi" kt tmpat name. So nama aku skrg pencemaran bunyi la? Haha

2011-06-06T12:28:00.002+08:00

http://neednotspecify.blogspot.com/2011/06/pick-petals-and-find-reasonsnot-to.html

another entry pasal kawin. kire bukan aku sorg jela pk bout this like almost all the time :p

An early birthday wish

2011-06-05T04:20:00.002+08:00

Its his birthday tomorrow and I still haven't get him anything. Seriously, tak bole nak pikir lgsung apa present nk bagi. It is soooo hard tau because he already has everything. And if ada benda pn yg die nak pn, msti benda tu terlampau mahal and I can't afforf it. Haha.

But anyway, happy birthday tomorrow baby. I know its early, but I wanted to be the 1st to wish you (wlupun probably awk akn baca ths on monday so takdela early mana pn). And org gak nak wish awk kt semua tempat yg ada la. Saja nk tamak skali skala, setahun skali je kot :p

I'm happy you're born today, err tomorrow, sbb if tak, org tak dapat la kenal awk. Ok, sgt poyo :p tp org tetap grateful gak :)

On your 25th bday baby, I wish that you will be happy always, always get whatever you want. I hope you will always be you, the annoying and menyakitkn ati you, the one who can make me cry like almost everyweek but can make me laugh too at the same time, the one who always mencederakan org tanpa belas kasihan, the one who always layan org wlupun org sntiasa bernasib malang bile ngn awk, the one yg tahan je marah everytime org rosakkn hd/pendrive awk, ilangkn tape, tinggal kunci dlm kete, terlupa promo, berckp tanpa henti n buat lawak bodoh yg awk terpaksa gelak. Haha.

Org jgk wish n hope, awk will be someone better, in relationship esp, with me, family, siblings, friends, anyone and Allah. I wish and hope you will always love me, and be with me, no matter apa pn masalah n bnde bodoh org buat :p and I reaaallllyyyy wish someday, awk akan tetiba terpk bout kawin, to me :p

So, happy bday again baby! Sorry takde pape on your bday, and no celebration gak. But if I can give the world to you, you know I will right? I love you syg. You're 25 now!

Muah muah!

si bongok

2011-05-25T23:42:00.002+08:00

kenape muka baby comel sgt bila shave bersih2 then senyum? kenapa? kenapa?

I hate you!

pasni apa?

2011-05-25T01:31:00.001+08:00

Now I'm at wanna's house. Decided to sleep here sbb malas nk folow abah pg keje at 7 tomorrow. We arrived home around 1 so we're totally exhausted. Smpai2 trus baring and started complaining keje penat la. Then we started to say yg tak sangka both of us dah keje. But the nxt thing kitorg ckp yg buat aku terpk tu. The question; pasni apa?

Paham tak soklan tu? Yela, dr kecik kite mmg tau kite start dgn main ntuk idup, then blajar ntuk idup, then keje ntuk idup. So bila dh keje, then what? Another question is, smpai bile keje ni? Xkan slame2nye buat keje yg sama je kot.

For the 1st question (which is bila dah keje, then what?), we answered kawin la apa lg. But, what if byg2 future husband tu still xnampak lg, still samar2 lg, then what? So kitorg pk, we really should start simpan duit, and go somewhere far atleast every year. Sementara masing2 xkawin lg. Ok kn jwpn?

For the 2nd question, bnde ni tough sket. I like my job, keje ni actually dh cukup bgs ntuk fresh graduate like me, smpai aku xtau nk naik mana lg dh frm here. Maybe should aim for producer or senior producer, tp xkn nak buat keje ni for 10 years++ kot. 5 years pn dh cukup lama actually.

Know what, I guess we just have to wait n see what will happen.
Gdnite :)

i'll try to be better

2011-05-23T00:32:00.002+08:00

i miss my bf. yes i know i just met him today, but i cant stop myself from missing him.

boring.

oh i met shida's parents earlier today. baru je smlm or last 2 days mak and abah jumpa parents dia gak and mak said, muka mak shida sedih je nampak. then suddenly terjumpa lagi pulak. it was my 1st time meeting them since shida passed away in 2009. lama kn? padahal she was (is) my bestfriend, and ive known her family since i was 7. such a bad friend i am.

i dont know why i cant just go to their house once in a while, and say hi. i guess its because the pain is still there. bf said i should move on, should let go of my past.

tp aku bukan sedih semata je bila ingat psl shida, aku happy jugak sbb aku penah ada dia dlm life aku. if only my bf knows her. there is no one as perfect as shida, i think. dia takkan penah buat org marah, dia akan sentiasa senyum, dia sentiasa tlg org, sentiasa peramah, sentiasa berckp ngn org, pandai, bersukan pn terer, serba serbi perfect la. lebih2 ke aku? haha

maybe i should just remember the good part, the happy part right? org yg dah takde, mmg akan sentiasa takde.

ps: thanks syg for ingatkn org bout that. and sorry if org buat awk rasa awkward everytime org ckp psl shida, but i just wanted u to know her, to know that once i have a friend (bestfriend) named shida.

haha ok dah, terasa poyo. bye!

0-4

2011-05-22T04:03:00.001+08:00

We did a team building session yesterday (smbung frm pd punye) and it was quite intense. But that's not what I want to write about. Ada 1 question tu yg menarik perhatian aku, yg trus aku teraplikasikan dlm relationship bf gf which is; how much do you trust your boss in the scale of 0-4 (so klu dlm term bf gf, how much kite trust psgn kite la ok)

Time2 tu jgk aku trus terpk and believe it or not, I trust him at the scale of 4 despite of his craziness, bodoh-ness, miang-ness, flirting-ness and mcm2 lg la. Tp org kata don't trust someone 100% so kasi can la trust 3.5 je. Haha tu pn byk gak tu.

Kenapa ek byk sgt? Pelik.

Oh but when I asked him how much he trust me, the answer is 0.
Dah agak dah

konvokasi

2011-05-22T02:31:00.002+08:00

i should write something bout my convocation kn? haha

it was ok. time dlm beratur n dlm dewan, sgt boring sbb takde kwn. but as soon as we can go out frm dewan, bru la rasa sronok. paling excited bila start nampak kwn2. haha. then tngkap2 gmbar, and i think i look good in tudung that day (thanks mak sbb suruh pakai tudung :p) oh and then went for dinner beramai2 siap kwn2 bwk bf lagi sampai abah abis rm500++. great. haha

buuuttttt, it was not so great because my bf wasnt there. i dont blame him, i know its not his fault. tu yg susah tu keje bf gf sama department, sama channel (we both buat promo for channel ceria, only the 2 of us). so if sorg dah cuti, sorg kena back up la. so its not his fault la.

but i do wonder, will he come if he doesnt have to stay at the ofis? i will never know right?

so, selain for bf tak dtg, the convo went well. it was great. oh i do miss some of my friends (mrsm's friends) but its ok. sume keje, and its on the weekdays. bodoh. haha.

bole pandang pandang, jgn pegang pegang

2011-05-17T18:34:00.001+08:00

I don't understand married people nowadays. Eh yg tak kawin pn xpaham gak kdg2. Yg kawin buat gaya tak kawin, yg tak kawin dh buat gaya kawin.

But yg tak kawin buat gaya kawin tu dh common sgt kot. Tp ni yg dah kawin ni, aku cukup tak paham nape dorg suka buat cm dorg ni blum kawin. Ada yg still flirt with other girls/boys, ada yg siap ngaku dorg ada gf/bf lain slain wife/husband dorg, ada yg sibuk nk kluar/call/jmpe/tdo with other ppl slain wife/husband dorg padahal kdg2 tu dorg bru sminggu cmtu kawin, ada yg bru kawin dah mcm menyesal kawin, ada yg dah jd suami/wife org pn sibuk nk bertepuktampar, bercubit2, bermanja2 ngn org lain.

Bnde2 cmni mmg aku tak paham. Maybe susah ntuk aku paham sbb aku tak kawin. But aku rasa bnde ni simple je. If rasa nk buat sume bnde di atas lg, jgn la kawin in the 1st place. Bila dh kawin, kite bkn stakat bwk imej or nama sndiri, kite bwk imej suami/isteri kite gak. Bilr tau bnde2 cmni sume, buat aku lak rasa xnak kawin. Aku xnak suami aku nnt rupenye kt blkg aku sibuk flirt ngn prmpuan lain siap bersyg2, wlupn maybe die syg aku lebih dr sgalenye.

N aku pn xpaham nape org still nak layan suami/wife org lain. Come on la, they're married kot. Korg nak ke bile korg dah kawin nnt org lain kcu marriage korg wlupn maybe korg tak tau? Msti la sume org taknak kn.

Serious bile dgr or tau bnde2 cmni, buat sndiri rasa takut nak kawin. And buat rase sgt2 la xpaham nape bile dah kawin, still nak buat mcm2 dgn org lain lg? Maybe kn, the conclusion I can think of is, maybe bile blum kawin sume pn setia sbb blum dpt secara sah and anytime relationship tu bole break. Tp bile dah kawin, bole la buat mcm2 sbb if kantoi pn, maybe akan ada 2nd or 3rd chance sbb xkn nk rosakkn marriage tu, xkan nak cerai kot.

Haih, bnde2 cmni buat aku rasa taknak kawin so that still ada rasa insecure tu, still rasa nak jaga hati n prasaan masing2, still ada rasa takut ntuk ilang.

mumble dumble

2011-05-16T01:03:00.004+08:00

tgk lately byk org buat pre-wed. ni bkn stakat gmbar biasa2 je ni, ni mmg gmbar gile babi sweet cm mat saleh. mmg dh jadi trend. tp aku bru tau yg kite bole buat post wed gak (sebaik ada kwn yg dah kawen klu tak sampai bile2 aku xtau) haha.

so, i think, for me, better post wed kot. bole la tngkap gmbar peluk2 bagai kiss sukati pegang sana pegang sini sbb dah kawin. takde org kesah dah. haha. tp maybe family dorg mmg semulajadi tak kesah kot gmbar cmtu. family org lain xmcm family aku yg agak alim n tradisional kot. tp takpe, post wed la pilihan hatiku.

eh tapi, bkn kau taknak kawin ke shakila? :p

2011-05-15T00:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes, seth cohen reminds me of my ex bf, one of them la. the voice, the way he speaks, the silly perangai (aku xdpt pk perangai in english), mcm2 la.

and i hate it. not that i hate my ex, but i love adam brody/seth cohen. i dont love my ex, or like him anymore. so nyampah je rasa seth cohen tu tercemar ngn ingatan bout my ex *not that i hate him la tapi, just taknak ingat*

tu jela.

instant pics, not instant friends

2011-05-15T00:08:00.008+08:00

i love them :)

californiaaaa, here we comeeeee

2011-05-13T02:01:00.000+08:00

waiting for the oc season 1 episode 16 to finish loading, so decided to write something la. alang2 dah tgk oc, so tulis psl oc dah la. haha

i dont watch gossip girls, but i watch the oc. padahal dua cite ni lebih kurang je, tukang buat pn sama. dahla cite oc ni dah lama gile, tahun 2003, when i was 17 kot. but i just love it. whyyy?

1st, obviously because of adam brody or seth cohen (his character in oc). he's sooooo adorable. how can u not love seth cohen? he's like the most adorable sarcastic cute nerd skater boy. and i think, because of him i like boys who skate. and i love guys yg wear kemeja kotak2 gak because of him. tp dia nerd, aku suka laki ganas2 gak. but nerd pn suka gak. nerd is soooo adorable.

2nd, the story itself. go and watch oc la kwn2, and trust me u will like it. klu tak suka pn, pg mampus la sama korang. yg penting aku suka. cite tu agak simple kot, xdela complicated n panjang cm one tree hill or terlampau urban cm gossip girls. cite oc cm sedang2 je. ok la, tak fair la ntuk aku ckp camtu kot sbb aku dah mmg addicted ngn oc so msti la aku puji oc :p

3rd, the couples. each couple ada strong character and relationship kot. cm takdela tukar2 pasangan sgt cm cite lain. ok maybe ada sket la kot, tp nama pn cite mat saleh. tp yg penting, seth cohen/summer robert adalah merupakan the cutest couple ever. sumpah comel nk mampus. dua2 pn cm gile2, cm bodoh2 wlupun different character. and dorg sgt funny, suka gaduh bodoh2. sgt adorable ok! and dorg siap kawin ok last2 tu, sukaaa! mmg tak abis la klu nk cite psl ke'cute'and seth n summer. haha

4th, seth cohennnn agaiiinnnn! haha

takde point lgsung la entry ni, ngantok tunggu episode ni abis loading tp nk tunggu jugak. ok dah la tu, bye!

i love u seth cohen :)

now you know

2011-05-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

Do you know that I never use the word doh, sial, siut, pukimak, cibai, lancau, babe, sehhh/seyy, omg, lol, bitch (untuk kwn2)? Oh and aku tak penah buat bunyik tikus panggil mamak tu,

Sekian

sentiasa rindu

2011-05-07T21:16:00.005+08:00

I have a pretty special bond with my high school friends, mrsmbp friends la. Bila pikir2 balik, kitorg were together for 2 years je kot. So what so special bout that? Takde la lama sgt smpai 6 tahun ke 10 tahun apa ke.

Maybe it was because we spent the whole 2 years together, every night and day, every hour minute and even second, literally. Yela kn, nama pn dok skolah asrama penuh, bukan bole suka2 kluar nk lepak ngn kwn kt luar, or choose nk hangout with few frens je kt dewan mkn. We have to sleep, eat, study, mandi, pray, walk, sit, pape jela pn together. Dhla mrsm kitorg kecik je, and we only have form 4 and form 5 so its either we're the junior or senior. So smangat junior kuat, smangat senior pn kuat. Because all we have is each other.

I miss my school, my maktab. That is what we called it. It was special, it still is. Bkn nk ckp skolah biasa xspecial, maybe masing2 ada la yg best. But u just have to be there to experience it yourself. U don't hv ur parents there, or people u know, u have to start everything frm scratch. Cm masuk skolah tadika or darjah 1, bile kite xkenal anyone. And u hv to build relationships with everyone sbb tu je yg ada, tu yg akan ada all the time. Tp aku special la, because I already hv my bestfren since I was 7 with me in the same school. Lucky us :)

Dah 8 years I left maktab, but the memories still ada, still takkan ilang. I am what I am now, because of that school and the frens there. Lantakla if maktab or korang sume buat aku jd jahat, jd bodoh, jd pemalas, jd makin tau bnde2 yg tak bagus, but I will always love u guys, no matter what.

some random pics :)

sebaik la jgk kn?

2011-05-07T18:45:00.002+08:00

I was on my way to the toilet in astro, one day, then I saw a friend sitting and waiting for an interview. And time tu la buat aku terpk, I was a lil bit lucky kn? Lucky la, sbb I don't hv to go through the whole process of pengangguran n hopping frm a job to a job smpai la jmpe yg well paid punye keje. Kire lucky la klu dibandingkn dgn usaha aku yg tak seberapa time study. Haha

Luckily for me, abis je practical aku trus dpt offer keje. N luckily again for me, tmpat yg aku practical n sterusnye bekerja tu, agak ok la. More than ok actually, bagus gak la kot. Gaji ok, org2 pn ok je, boss tak kesah la ok ke tak asalkn xde menganggu aku stakat ni, keje pn still dlm bidang broadcasting ni wlupun kena edit all the time but still dpt shoot n direct sndiri (which I really love), ada kwn2 dlm department sama n department bersebelahan, n last but not least, ada bf yg sgt disygi :p

So I can consider myself as lucky right? Eventhough sometimes ada je rasa tak best keje ni, bukanlah tak best but tak cukup memuaskan, but for now, I should be grateful la. Xsmpai setahun pn keje n I already got a raise and did so much, bole la. More to come right?

Xoxo oap girl!

baby love

2011-05-05T00:57:00.001+08:00

2011-05-02T13:11:00.000+08:00

Rasa cm byk org meninggal lately. Makngah belah abah meninggal last tuesday, pakuda belah mak pulak last friday. Then lately, I've been dreaming bout shida, bole kata cm 2-3 hari skali gak la. Kdg2 pulak tetibe randomly tringat bout her. Maybe I miss her too much kot. Pastu bila ada org meninggal, mmg la tringat kt die kn. Haih xtau dh nk tulis apa. Tu jela.

maju setapak

2011-04-29T19:55:00.001+08:00

It was alia's wedding today, the nikah ceremony la. While everyone else in the world sibuk duduk dpn tv tgk kate & william punye wedding, aku pulak sibuk tgk alia & gadget nikah. And surprisingly, I cried.

Mula2 ok lg dpt tahan, stakat air mata je bergenang time alia n mak die n adik2 die peluk2. Tp as soon as I hugged her, haa amik kau trus air mata melimpah ruah smbil gelak gak sket cover malu :p bila org tanya apsal nangis, aku pn buat je la lawak "sbb alia dh kawen, aku tak lagi" haha

Aku pn actually confused gak, apsal aku nangis ek? But maybe because she is my 1st besfren yg dh kawin. Mcm come on la weh, alia dah kawin kot. Kwn yg kenal time orientasi mrsmbp form 4 yg rupenye dok blkg rmh je, kwn yg sama2 main kejar2 pastu kne marah ngn lynn, lepak dpn klas time prep, same2 kne denda ngn cikgu rugba the nxt day sbb kantoi lepak tp xbuat pn denda tu, mandi kt pili bomba time xde air, mkn nasi lemak mikel time org lain smayang isyak, baring atas katil dgr tape sheila on 7 ely, berlari2 kluar dorm stp pagi, gaduh n kne maki ngn senior. Byk gile kot memories bodoh, yg sgt kebudak2an. Now, the same alia is officially someone's wife. Sape sangka alia kawin dlu dlm byk2 kwn aku? Sumpah xkn ada sape pn yg terlintas bnde ni dlm kepala otak masa form 4 dlu. Haha

I'm happy for her, extremely happy. Xsia2 she chose gadget than err can't say his name here. Sorry, ni main2 je tau if die baca :p tp btul la, xsia2 la. Sbb atleast kawin gak kn? Cube klu xkawin, msti org ckp "haa tu la kau, tinggalkn lg si H tu" haha. Ah ckp org la, kang tibe2 jd kt aku, kang org ckp kt aku bnde tu kang, padan muka kau shakila. Haha.

Talking bout that, few days ago I just said something to my bf yg aku sndiri xsangka akn ckp, yg aku sndiri pn xsangka aku buat decision tu. Because at one time tu, tibe2 je aku rasa, eh I really love him, like seriously love him, so why can't I just follow what he wants right? Beecause all I want is to be with him. Lgpn, apa nk jadi nnt kita mana nk tau. So xkan la aku nk buat something tu just because of the sake I want to do that, and to have all that. The right person pnting jgk kn?

Bila pk psl life n future ni, prasaan cpt jd tension. Jd cm lost sbb xtau mana arah tuju ifup ni. But I'm with him now, I'm doing something that I like, I hv cool bestfriends, I hv my family, I hv money n more money nnt (haha), so I should be grateful right? When the right time comes, kita akan maju setapak lg.

Enjoy je life shakila. As long as you're happy, cukup la.

Anyway, congrats alia, for moving one step forward in your life :)